The Story Left Untold 'Jack Barakat'
by TheBeehive
Summary: Jack Barakat of All Time Low  Take My Hand Sequel
1. Chapter 1

[JACK]

I had to leave her. I had to let her go. There was no way I could continue lying to her. It was unfair and I don't know why I did what I did but at least I did what I had to do. I saved her from enduring more pain. Now I know she's going to be hurting for a while. That's sorta why I chose to ride a plane to some other state which I haven't really decided on yet instead of riding the bus all the way home with them. Alex was joining me so I guess I wasn't completely alone.

I can't even begin to explain how much pain I was feeling right now. The pit of my stomach has been churning for the last few hours because of the guilt I held inside of me. What I did was completely and utterly wrong and nothing I can do will ever be able to make it up to her. I don't even know how I managed to let it drag on this long. But the worst thing is that she doesn't even know why we can't be together.

Brittany means the world to me and I love her to pieces but sadly everything we went through, everything we did together, they were all lies. But she doesn't know that. Only I do. And I don't understand how I managed to keep a straight face after everything I did. I guess for a second I forgot exactly what was supposed to be going on and lived in the moment.

But was I wrong to do so? Forgetting about it made me happier than I have ever been and I never would've traded the time I had with her with anyone or anything else. I think I may have loved her in a way. Wait, I do love her and I don't think anything will change that.

"Hey, cheer up," Alex said nudging me as soon as we found our seats on the plane.

"Dude, what we did to her was wrong. We should've never done that," I told him feeling too guilty of myself. I felt like leaving her like that – without telling her exactly what was going on – was by far the worst thing that I – Jack Bassam Barakat – have done.

"You never acted like this when you were with Kristy," he muttered as he looked out the window.

"Kristy was different, okay? I thought you understood that," I was beginning to heat up all over again. I took in big breaths as Alex rolled his eyes.

"Whatever you say," Alex said putting on his seatbelt as he saw the sign flash.

I did the same thing and knew that I was in for a ride that I'd probably regret forever. Rian was probably going to tell her or maybe Zack was. They knew about it and I just wonder why didn't stop me from making the biggest mistake of my life.

"What was going to happen if I chickened out of our stupid bet again?" I asked with a big sigh.

"Well, you'd clean my house and be my personal slave for a month," he reminded me.

"And if I didn't?" I asked completely forgetting about the bet we made. It seemed like years ago when we agreed to doing this but truthfully, we only agreed to this a week before I moved and became Brittany's neighbor.

"Free trip to Disneyland," he said as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. "Don't you remember suggesting that?"

"How the fuck did you get me to agree to that?" I said louder than my usual tone earning a few dirty looks from the people who were on the plane.

"Dude, you were pretty wasted when we agreed on this bet," he told me, "We both were."

I didn't remember anything at all. Alex only reminded me on the last day of tour when he showed me this 'Contract' that had my signature on it. I didn't really read through it. The only thing that popped in my head when I saw the piece of paper was that I agreed to actually play a girl just to get back at Kristy and make it as real as possible. The only problem was that I really did fall in love and the girl I played on was not worth the bet. She was worth way more than that fucked up bet and I wasted my chance with her just to show that I wasn't one to back down. But I was telling the truth when I said that I didn't know what was in it for me. I just wish I did because I would give up everything just to rewind time and make things right.

"This is too fucked up for me to handle," I told him and he looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

"You actually like her, huh?" he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Of course not, because it really wasn't obvious," I said in the most sarcastic tone I had in me.

"What? I thought it was all part of the act," he said in all seriousness. Sometimes I don't even know why I still tolerate this guy. I mean I know he means well but sometimes…

I shook my head as I shut my eyes. I didn't want to live in this messed up world anymore. Who knew one tiny bet could ruin everything? I surely didn't. I mean everything was going alright for me and I was finally getting over Kristy but it all had to be a lie. I guess I'm more fucked up than I give myself credit for.

Fuck that. Fuck all this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

[BRITTANY]

When he left, he tore me apart. He left me broken, fragile and torn. He left and gave up on me – on us – and acted as if nothing that happened between us was real. And sadly, nothing was.

When we reached my house, I grabbed all my bags and said goodbye to Rian, Zack, Flyzik, Jeff, Evan, Vinny, Danny and Colussy. I unpacked as soon as I reached my room but as soon as I unzipped my bag, I saw a piece of paper. It was almost as if someone stuffed inside in a hurry. I reached for it and opened it up and saw that it was a contract between Alex and Jack. The very sight of his name made my heart droop even more if that were humanly possible.

I read through the whole thing and ripped it into pieces after the very second I read the last word. I can't believe I actually fell for everything he did and said. I thought we were real. I thought he loved me. I thought that forever would be possible for us but apparently what happened between us was nothing but a part of a play that only he knew about.

I was nothing but a worthless bet to him. And what's worse is that he traded me for a fucking trip to Disneyland. Who does that? I just can't believe that I meant nothing; that we meant nothing because every bit of what I felt for him was real.

He used me for his entertainment and I let him use me without question and without doubt. Was he that great an actor? How the hell did he keep a straight face and how in the world did Alex get Jack to agree to this? Did he poison him? Did he make Jack drink some brain-washing potion?

I thought Jack was a decent guy. I thought that maybe he wasn't one of those jerks who used girls just for the sake of winning bets and what not. I thought he was different. But I thought wrong. Everything about this situation was wrong in many ways and I got myself caught up into this mess.

Why did he have to move here? Why did I have to help him with all his shit and care about him? Why did I fall for him and why did he have to come into my life the way he did? I would've been fine without him. I probably wouldn't have a summer that entailed so many things and experiences but I wouldn't feel disgusted of myself either.

I gave myself up to him and what did he do? He threw me aside. For what you might ask? DISNEYFUCKINGLAND.


	2. Chapter 2

_12 MONTHS LATER_

[BRITTANY]

Life was moving on for me. It didn't stop for a second and it didn't wait for me to hop on the train. It just went.

Twelve months ago, I was torn between wanting move on and waiting for him to come back but he never did. So after a week of waiting for nothing, I started to run as fast as I could so I could catch up with life and forget what happened in the past because I knew that he wasn't worth it. I still miss him sometimes though.

So I moved to New York and went to NYU. I didn't know we had enough money to support two courses but my mom made it happen. I'm just thankful that we don't have to work part-time to pay for my tuition so I guess I really shouldn't be complaining. Besides, I'm having the time of my life over here. I have nothing to worry about because I know I won't be running in to anybody I know.

"Hey, Brit, are you listening to me?" Sophie, my new best friend/roommate, said snapping me out of my pathetic daze.

"Sorry what were you talking about again?" I asked.

We were at the courtyard making the most of our break by talking about something which I clearly wasn't paying attention to. I mean I don't doze off like this all the time it's just that today was supposed to the day I found about that stupid bet and I have no idea why it still has this big impact on me but I guess it just does.

"So are you in or not?" Sophie said waving her hand right in front of me to catch my attention.

"Um, I don't know," I said pretending to comprehend exactly what she was saying.

"Come on! It'll be fun! And plus there'll be a lot of hot guys there waiting to hook up with you," she winked. Like that was encouraging enough.

"What's this I hear about a party?" Chase, Sophie's boyfriend, chimed in out of nowhere.

"Trevor's hosting one this evening at the house and I want Brittany to come," she said post lip lock.

"And when were you going to tell me about this?" Chase raised an eyebrow. They talked like I wasn't even there. How considerate.

"Didn't you get the text?" Sophie asked him.

Chase grabbed his phone from his pocket and looked at the screen, "Oh, wait, now I do," he said, "and you really have to come,"

"Why?" I asked innocently as they started to hold back laughs.

"Because it'll be fun," Sophie said suggestively wriggling her eyebrows. She smiled brightly at me probably laughing at how clueless she thought I was.

So here's the catch. Trevor's this really rich guy who thinks he can get any girl he wants. He and Chase belong to the same fraternity – yes, I know, fraternities are like the lamest things in the world but they do have pretty hot guys in there – and there was one time when Sophie and I got invited – more like crashed into it – and Sophie got to hook up with Chase. Trevor is Chase's best friend and since he thinks he's like this total big shot he tried to do the same with me but he seriously was not my type. I don't date frat jerks. Not that Chase is one. It's just that Trevor is what you would call a total man whore based on first impression and getting to know him makes you think that he's this jerk who's totally full of himself. He thinks the world revolves around him and he talks about himself too much. But of course, I've only met him once and lately, people have been telling me that he's starting to 'change' and I don't see how that's relevant to anything because frankly, I really don't care about him at all and I mean that.

"I don't know guys my schedule's-"

"Like you plan anything," Sophie said knowingly. "You don't even have a to-do list for crying out loud,"

"How would you know?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Hello? I live with you? We live in the same room? In case you haven't noticed, my name's Sophie and we share the same dorm room," she said sarcastically making Chase laugh. I just rolled my eyes.

"Fine, I'll go," I said but before I let them rejoice, I added, "but if you guys intentionally bring me near him, I'm gonna kick both of your asses,"

"Ooh, I'm so scared now," Chase said sarcastically.

Well at least he and Sophie have something in common. They speak the same language – sarcasm.

[JACK]

"Are you serious? A fucking frat party?" I laughed as I heard the words come out of Flyzik's mouth. It's been a year and finally, I'm looking on to new horizons and trying my best not to think about her – even though I still stare at our pictures from tour.

"Yeah, you heard me," Flyzik said maintaining his serious face even though deep inside I'm sure he was dying to burst out in laughter.

We were in New York for the moment since we had a show in New Jersey the next day. We were having another tour and it hasn't top the last one yet but it's too early to tell, you know?

"Jack, that's like the perfect scene. College girls will be all over the place screaming our fucking names," Alex said enthusiastically.

"Whatever," I said getting up and looking inside the refrigerator we had in our hotel room.

I wasn't bitter about the whole Brittany thing anymore. I mean it's been a year and I've been holding out on all the fun that surrounded me. I'm not saying I don't have feelings for her anymore but when I came back two weeks later, she was gone. Her brother told me that she had moved away for college and that it was best if I stayed the fuck away. I understood exactly why he had an attitude and there really was nothing I could do about it so I just let it go.

So days after moping around and telling myself to get over her, I started to pick myself up and stand on my ground once again. It wasn't that easy since she still had some clothes in my house but I had to try. I couldn't mope around forever because I was the one who initiated the whole thing.

"What time's the show?" Zack asked as soon as he finished his crunches.

"Around 8," Flyzik said and I almost spit out the water I poured into my mouth.

I swallowed before saying, "How in the world did you agree to that?"

"Well he was going to pay us twenty grand for like a 5-song set so how could I refuse?" he did have a point there. "Just be ready, okay?"

I was ready. This meant getting laid and that's sorta what I needed right now even though I just got laid like two nights ago.

"Which college are we playing at?" I asked just to be sure.

"NYU,"


	3. Chapter 3

[BRITTANY]

"Come on already! Can't you move your ass any quicker?" Sophie called from outside the bathroom. She was about to barge in – I was sure of it – if I didn't come out all prepped and ready for tonight.

"Okay, I'm done," I told her but she raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Are you seriously wearing that to a frat party?" she asked scanning my outfit which consisted of safe things namely: a plaid button up, jean shorts, and sneakers.

"Why? I mean we both wore something similar the first time we went to a frat party. What's the big deal?" I asked but she just smirked and grabbed something from her closet.

"Yeah that was a really big mistake and unlike you, I've learned from it," she said handing me a dress that she knew I wanted and couldn't resist wearing.

"You're not serious, are you?" I asked her as she laughed. "What about you? What are you wearing?" She was still in a bathrobe so it was pretty hard to tell.

"This," she said unveiling her choice of wardrobe.

I might have forgotten to tell you this but my roommate is freaking rich. She's like the richest girl in the world. But you can't really tell that from the exterior since she dresses up like any normal teenager and acts like one too but when there's an occasion, it's not a surprise if she wins the best dressed award because well, she always looks her best. It's natural too.

After doing our hair and make-up, Sophie called Chase to tell him that we were ready. He was picking us up and we were all walking to the house together. I don't understand why Chase has to come all the way here though.

"Are you sure we should be wearing heels? I mean we're gonna be standing a lot and I'm really not comfortable in them," I complained.

"Have you ever worn heels before?" she asked with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Um, yeah,"

"Then you won't have a problem," she said opening our dorm room door as soon as she heard a knock from the other side.

"Hey babe, you look amazing," he said kissing her on the lips.

I didn't really mind their public display of affection but sometimes, when it gets too much, I get sorta grossed out.

"Thanks, you too," Sophie said grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me out the door before I could do anything more.

"Wow," was all Chase said. I think I might've blushed but I looked away and it was dark out so I'm sure no one saw.

"Is there like a theme or something? I mean why are you in a suit?" I asked Chase who seemed baffled by my ignorance.

"Um, Brit, its Trevor's birthday today and it's a black and white themed party," he said and I looked at Sophie who nodded in reassurance.

"Why didn't you guys tell me ahead? I mean I don't have a present for him!" I said all panicky and paranoid.

"Calm down you crazy psychopath!" she laughed, "Your presence is more than he could ever wish for,"

What wasn't I getting here? I mean they always joke around telling me that Trevor's always had a secret crush on me but isn't this a little too much? I mean what if it's not even a joke anymore? And it wasn't even funny in the first place. They're the only ones laughing.

I shrugged it off as soon as we entered the frat house. I was here to party and not to fight with anyone so I should probably be in the lightest mood possible.

Trevor saw us as soon as we made it past the crowd in the foyer.

"Happy birthday, man!" Chase said fist bumping him.

"Happy birthday, Trevor," Sophie said after, "Nice party by the way,"

"Thanks," he said reverting his attention to me. "Why hello there," he took my hand and placed it to his lips.

"Hey, happy birthday," I greeted and looked around. I just noticed something – Chase and Sophie left me alone with this guy. I guess they really did want their asses kicked.

"Thanks," he said taking my hand as he led me to the next room where everyone was dancing. He sat me down on the couch right beside the dance floor. "I didn't think you'd come at all,"

"Couldn't miss it for the world," I joked but he wasn't laughing. He just smiled triumphantly. And what a charming smile he had.

"Wanna get something to drink?" he asked and I nodded. "I'll be right back."

I greeted the people I knew and made small talk with some of them as I waited for Trevor to come back. When he did, I saw the small stage begin to fill up with four people – some band most probably.

"What's up you guys? We're All Time Low and we'll be your entertainers for tonight!" Alex screamed into the mic.

"Whoa, dude, don't you think that sounded sorta dirty?" the boy who broke my heart said into the mic.

I couldn't breathe. I was stuck in the moment. I never thought I'd see him again but there he is, right in front of me.

"Hey are you okay?" Trevor asked getting in front of me blocking my view.

"Oh, um, yeah," I stuttered. "I-I think I might need some air though,"

I rushed of the scene certain that he saw me. He was saying something but stopped right in the middle of his sentence. I never should've come here.

All the memories were starting to come back to me – everything that happened on this day but last year. I breathed in and out heavily as I tried to keep calm and just when I was about to start walking, a hand on my shoulder stopped me from doing so.

[JACK]

"So we're gonna be playing an acoustic set today since we don't really have all our equipment tonight," Alex said earning some 'awws' from the crowd.

"Yeah, Matt over there practically forced us out here to play-"

That was when I saw her. She was heading out the door. I didn't think I'd see her again but there she was. I had to go talk to her and try to explain what happened. I had to do something at least. I couldn't just let her get away from me again.

I didn't care if I left the people hanging. I asked Matt to cover for me and he seemed confused about what was going on but I told him that it was really important.

"Be back soon, okay?" he said with a serious face.

"Yeah, whatever," I said pushing past people in the crowd. I headed for the door where I saw her just standing there breathing in and out.

I ran to her and placed a hand on her shoulder as she was about to walk away.

"Brittany," I whispered into her ear.

"Get away from me," she reacted violently. People started to stare but then minded their own business as I shot them death glares.

"Brit, please wait," I said grabbing a hold of her arm.

"Why? Why should I wait for you? So you can tear me apart all over again? Jack, I waited a week for you to come back and you never did. I wanted to talk to you about that stupid contract I saw in my bag exactly a year ago from today but guess what? You wouldn't even pick up," she said loudly. She had tears in her eyes.

"Can't we at least be friends again?" I asked but as soon as I did, I wished I could take it back.

"Are you being serious right now?" she asked placing a hand in her hair.

I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was tonight. All I wanted to do was take her home with me and never let her go. I wanted to be with her so badly that I walked out on the band just to talk to her. Why couldn't she see that?

"Yeah, I am," I said. "Look, I'm sorry about everything. It was a clear misunderstanding and I was meaning to call you but I never got the chance to," I explained.

"And why is that?" At least she was giving me a chance. I mean she was listening to me.

"Because Alex took my phone away from me," I said hoping that she would accept that reason. It was the only one I had and it was a fact.

"Are you playing with me right now, Jack? Because I'm seriously not up for another bet and-"

I kissed her. She didn't fight it. I kissed her and everything that I wished I had forgotten just bounced back out of the box inside my head. The butterflies started fluttering in my stomach and all I wanted to do was take her home. I've missed her so much and clearly, she felt the same way.

I broke off the kiss to get some air but I never should've done that because as soon as I let her go, she slapped me across the face and ran. I guess everything wasn't okay after all.


	4. Chapter 4

[BRITTANY]

I ran as fast as I could. I didn't really have a clear place in mind but I just had to run away. I can't believe he thought we were fine. He kissed me as if nothing in the past happened. He kissed me as if he had the right to. He kissed me as if we were still together. But we weren't and we never will be ever again. The whole time I was trying to escape the chances of meeting him were useless. I mean I should be a little realistic here. I'm in a big city and he's in a big band and they're bound to have a show somewhere in the same state but I just couldn't let myself believe that they'd be playing in a college. To be more specific, I didn't think they'd play at NYU on the same evening I decided to go out and party.

Was it a mere coincidence or was it fate telling me that we were bound to jump in the same circle we were about a year ago? I mean I never really believed in fate and I don't know why I thought about this situation could possibly be an example of it but then again right now, my mind's closed up. It's shut tight to the possibility of anything positive that can come out of a circumstance that might include Jack in it. I mean it's practically in his nature to screw things up because of his name since he basically lives up to it but this is probably just the negative aura that's speaking and not the real me.

Where could the real me possibly be? Is it possible that instead of trying to lock up the memories I had with Jack inside a box in my head, I kept away anything positive that tends to bounce around whenever I'm with him? Is this why I'm such a total wreck? Is this why I can't find a way to move on? I mean now that I think about it, it seems totally logical.

But who am I kidding? I can never forget the way his lips taste and the way he makes me smile. I can never forget the sound of his voice and how the words that he speaks and the way they send chills down my spine. I can never forget all the times he traced a portion of skin gently and made sure that I stayed happy. It all seemed so real but I guess it was just part of a story that was better to be left untold than to be revealed.

I finally stopped running when I reached my dorm building. I wasn't planning to go back to the party. I probably looked horrible after crying harshly as I ran down the street. I was out of breath but I couldn't let the stairs stop me. I was this close to my private sanctum to escape all the chances of bumping into someone that would try to talk to me but I had to catch my breath. I was close to blacking out but I had to stay awake. I didn't want to cause a scene in the morning. I was even lucky that no one was awake to see me so dreadful. Mascara probably streamed down my cheek by now.

After taking a few more deep breaths, I was about to hit the stairs when suddenly, I heard a car park near the entrance and the door swing open wide. I wanted to run up the stairs thinking that Jack probably followed me down here but as soon as I lunged forward, I stumbled and fell to the ground. My feet were so sore from running. It only occurred to me now that I'd been wearing high heels.

"Brittany, are you okay?" Trevor yelled in a whisper as he ran across the lobby to assist me.

I didn't answer him. All I did was cry into him. I didn't know why I did that but I guess part of me wanted to be comforted. I mean I've been practically down in the dumps for the longest time and not even Sophie could give me the right kind of comfort I needed. I guess I was sorta lucky to have at least one guy who liked me. Wait…that sounded wrong.

Trevor carried me up the stairs and into my room. I just clung into him as I tried to calm myself down and silence my tears. Apparently, he knew where my room was.

"Where are your keys?" he asked me.

I didn't have the voice to answer so I hopped off him and found my balance after wobbling a bit and turned the doorknob. I didn't remember locking it before we left and when I turned the knob, the door quickly opened.

"You know, you guys should really keep your doors locked. People could slip in and out and you wouldn't even know it," he told me as we walked towards my bed.

I breathed in as I took off my shoes. I turned towards him - conscious about how I looked – and thanked him for carrying up the stairs.

"That's no problem. I didn't earn these guns for nothing," he smirked referring to his bulky arms.

I smiled as I leaned against the headboard of my bed. "Not the best way to celebrate a birthday, I'm guessing?" I said semi-embarrassed that he had to run out on his own birthday party for me. He was probably one of those who saw what happened but what's done is done. I can't erase what anyone saw and I can't cross out the scene that occurred no matter how much I wanted to. If I could go back in time, I would've done so much more than just delete the confrontation I had with Jack today.

"To be honest, I never really liked how I spend my birthday with a whole lot of people I don't know who come for the free drinks and food. I miss how it used to be just me and my family," he reminisced.

At first I thought he was joking but he was actually being pretty sentimental about what he said.

"Then why do you do it every year?" I asked. He took off his shoes and crawled into the empty space beside me and leaned against the headboard. Knowing that he's so close to me scared me a little but with the way he was acting now, it was hard to scoot away.

"Well, mainly, it's because I'm never really informed about the plans they make so I just go with the flow," he explained.

"You seem like you're always enjoying yourself though," I told him but he just shook his head as he held in the laughter.

"Well that must mean I'm a pretty good actor then, huh?" he joked.

I didn't really know that there was a softer side in Trevor. I always thought he was one to party really hard and get wasted and maybe sleep with a girl and wake up the next morning and do it all over again. But then again, maybe I stereotype people too much.

Silence filled the air. I yawned and rubbed my eyes as I realized that I hadn't actually washed my face. I didn't understand why he didn't make fun of me though. He always laughed at people for what they did. Or maybe that was what I thought he did.

"You must me getting tired," he said turning his head to the side leaving a few inches of space between us.

"Oh, um, yea, I guess I am," I stuttered my words. I was too startled by the closeness to think straight.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow," he said tucking a stray curl behind my ear. "Good night," he kissed my cheek and smiled before getting up.

"Happy birthday and good night," I said with a smile as he walked out the door.

I touched the part of my cheek that he kissed and couldn't believe he did what he did. It probably meant nothing to him and I probably shouldn't be gushing about it but wasn't that supposed to mean something big?

I didn't want to have to dwell on the details of what it could've meant but my mind wouldn't stop running around with questions. Maybe he could be a potential boyfriend. But who am I to say so? One night couldn't prove anything. Who knows, maybe he was far from sober.


	5. Chapter 5

[JACK'S POV]

When she ran away from me, I thought I felt my heart shatter into pieces. Apparently my face wasn't the only thing that was experiencing pain. Don't get me wrong though, her slap hurt like fuck but it couldn't match the pain I was feeling inside. Like the hole in me never really fully filled up like I thought it did. I guess it was only a placebo kind of thing when I told myself that I was fine. I thought it for a while but I guess I never really was.

I thought by playing it cool, I'd be able to get her back but what I didn't know was that she was just like me - pretending that everything was fine and like nothing in the world could bring her down. But we all know that that isn't true.

As I thought of what I had said to her, I realized that she really wasn't the one to be blamed for running away. I mean I can't just ask her if we could be friends like that. After everything I did, it'd be a miracle for her to agree to ever see me as the person she once thought she knew when we were on tour together. She probably wouldn't look me in the eye and tell me she loved me ever again. Although I still hope and pray that she might change her mind.

"Dude, snap out of it. You're creeping all these people out," Alex complained.

I just stared at him blankly before shaking my head. "Whatever man, I need some air,"

I got out of my seat from the table that was set out in the backyard of the frat house we just jammed in and started to round the house so that I was in front of the house.

I was about to start walking when this girl bumps into me. She was intoxicated to the point where she was laughing to herself loudly.

"Whoops," she said sloppily as she giggled, "I'm sooo sorry," she dragged her words around like rag dolls. It was annoying.

"Um, are you okay?" I asked. I know that getting her to answer that in a sensible way was a long shot but whatever.

"I'm Sophie and I'm really glad to meet your gorgeous face," she said patting my cheek twice as she hooked her arm around my and dragged me to a certain direction.

"Where are we going exactly?" I asked wanting to stop her from pulling me along but I didn't need to cause a scene so I just went with the flow.

"To my apartment," she said as she started to skip.

"Who says I wanna go there?" I said pulling away as soon as we were out of the people's sight.

"Me," she said casually and hooked my arm once more. "My boyfriend and I just got into a fight and I really wanna do something stupid,"

"What?" I asked. I mean who does that? When two people fight, shouldn't they try to make things better instead of complicating it by doing something stupid?

"Well you heard me," she said marching down the pavement as if she owned the whole damn road.

"Do you know who I am?" I tried to clarify. "I mean I'm not exactly a college student. In fact, I never even went to college,"

"Oh shut your blabber-box," she said getting annoyed. "I know exactly who you are and I know you won't care who I am after what unfolds tonight so my boyfriend - when he finds out - won't need to cause here on campus." Well to be honest that was kinda smart buy I didn't want to get played especially if it's like this. This was just fucked up like to the maximum level and I needed to get out of it before it fucks me over. But I probably fucked myself up already by trying to help this Sophie-girl out.

We arrived in front of her building and was about to go inside but all of sudden her phone rang.

But since she was drunk she put it on loudspeaker so that she could hop around while she answered her phone.

"What's up, Britty-baby?" she asked as soon as she answered.

"Where the hell are you?" the voice sounded all too familiar. Could this be the same Brittany that's been wandering inside my mind for the past few hours?

"I'm outside the building enjoying the breeze," she seemed less drunk that she was talking to her friend.

"I'm coming down to get you," 'Britty' said slamming a door shut and thudding down steps.

"Oh please hurry before I do something stupid," Sophie said trying to impersonate a damsel in distress.

Suddenly, I felt the need to rub away. I knew who this Brittany was and I didn't want to cause any more trouble tonight. I didn't want to have to think about another event that would probably haunt me until I die. But my feet were stuck on the ground as soon as I saw her face come out of the glass door that was blocking the lobby from the front steps.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked furiously as she rushed down the steps to get Sophie away from me.

"Oh, you know him too?" Sophie chimed in all of a sudden.

"Just to clear the air, I didn't come here because I wanted to. She dragged me here and I did not know that you guys were friends," I said but she didn't seem to want to believe it. I didn't know if she did or didn't though.

"Come on Sophie," she said yanking on Sophie's arm but she didn't seem like she wanted to go anywhere.

"I want an explanation," Sophie wiggled her eyes at Brittany.

"Let's just go, please," she begged but Sophie hid behind me causing Brittany to clench her jaw tightly.

"Look, I'm sorry about earlier. You have every right to be mad at me and you can decide when not to be angry anymore but I just want you to know that I'm waiting for you to give me another chance to prove myself once more," I thought out loud catching both of them off guard.

"That guy who played you isn't the kind of guy that I am," I continued, "and I know that you have no reason to believe me but just know that whatever I say now is out of honesty and sincerity and I meant it when I said I was sorry,"

"Sophie, I need you to go up right now, I'll explain everything later," Brittany said.

Sophie followed Brit's directions and went up the steps and inside the door. Once the door closed, Brittany shook her head at me.

"What do you really want me to say, Jack? Answer realistically because we're not in the world of fantasies and fairy tales here," she said with authority.

"I can't decide for you because I'd probably make a bias decision," I told her as she rolled her eyes.

I needed more hope in me but I really couldn't see any light in this situation. Where did all the good things go? Why are they all hiding away? I'm stuck in a really awkward conversation with no plan in mind of making it somehow easier. I should probably just turn away right now before more feelings get hurt but my feet seem to be stubborn today. Oh well...

[BRITTANY'S POV]

I didn't want to keep fighting anymore. Hearing him being sincere just made my heart fly. I may have an extremely rough and mean facade but inside, I was slowly dying because I longed for his touch. I longed for him - for us.

I don't know why I needed to be so stubborn before I showed him that I still felt the same way. Maybe I just want to get back at his stupidity by doing the same thing but isn't that sorta dumb? I mean shouldn't I at least see if he's worth another shot?

After I thought about the whole situation when Trevor left, I realized that being with Trevor would only hurt him and waste his time because there was no way I was over Jack. I couldn't just make Trevor a rebound after everything he told me. That would just tear him apart and no one should have to feel this kind of pain. And when I say no one, that includes Jack.

I really don't understand why I'm in such a forgiving mood but I needed that feeling I felt when I was happy - when I was with Jack where everything felt right.

Jack stared at me with such sad eyes waiting for my response. I went up to him and he cringed before I moved a muscle. I half smiled at that before cupping his face in my hands and crashing my lips into his.

I knew what I had to do if I thought I regretted my decision and right now, it didn't seem like a foul thing to do. Sophie's do-something-stupid theory might not be that reckless after all.


	6. Chapter 6

[JACK'S POV]

That night when she told me that she wanted to be with me again was most probably the best night I've ever had in a while now. I practically hopped back to the hotel where we were staying at all high and drunk from that one kiss that grazed my lips.

When we parted from that kiss, she smiled and walked back into the building and in that moment I saw that I had been right all along. I knew we were meant to be together.

I woke up the next morning as if I couldn't wait to start the day ahead of me. We had one more day here at NYC and I needed to take this chance to ask her to be mine once and for all. Well with what happened last night, I couldn't really foresee anything that could possibly go wrong so I'm keeping my hopes up high knowing that the clouds will welcome them with open arms. I don't think they even have any but no one really cares right now.

Today was a Saturday and universities usually have their breaks at this time of the year so it can't possibly be hard to reach her, right? I mean she isn't studying...is she?

I shook every inch of doubt in my body as I got out of the shower. I changed into some decent clothes - a JAGK shirt and some board shirts - and was soon on my way to see the girl I loved.

This sounds so much like a fairytale bur I knew by heart that this was real and nothing - no matter how gay I've been sounding - will stop me from getting where I want to be.

I parked the car we rented out in the parking lot of NYU and tried to recall the path to her building but as soon as I hit the lobby, she was standing right at the bottom of the steps fidgeting with her sandals.

"Hey," I said casually as I walked up to her.

She turned around with fright and her eyes got all wide. "What are you doing here?" she whispered finally getting her foot in place.

"I came to see you," I said with a smile as she shook her head and rolled her eyes in disapproval.

"But you can't be here," she said still in whisper mode. I was beginning to feel like if she talked loud enough, someone would storm in and take her away from me.

"Why not?" I whispered back just to play along.

"Brittany, you ready?" a male voice - coming from behind me - asked.

"Just a sec,"she said running a hand through her hair nervously. "I'll be right out. Just wait in the car,"

When the guy went away, she sighed and confronted me. She bit her lip as she thought of her explanation.

"So...?" I pressed on not wanting to leave the situation as is in the state it was currently in.

"So last night didn't really mean anything," she said trying to sound bitter but she way too transparent to have me fooled. I saw right through the face she was trying to put on and knew that she was indeed lying not only to me but to herself as well.

"Really? You're just gonna say it like that to my face?" I asked clearly getting ahead on the frustration.

"Jack, I thought about what happened last night and regretted what I did. I can't be with you right now. Our worlds are just too far apart from each other and if we were to try and coexist by living them together, they'd only end up falling apart," she said metaphorically.

"Where the hell is that shit coming from? And what have you done to the Brittany I love?" I asked with a fierceness in my voice that I haven't really tamed for a while now.

My words were like knives cutting through her skin. I could see her breaking from inside. I knew she didn't want to be here right now and that someone was waiting for her but I wasn't just going to let her go without explaining to me fully about what's really going on.

"Jack, you're going on tour soon and I have classes starting as well. We can't all live like you. Not all of us can spend our time entertaining other people for a living. I mean I have a future planned ahead of me and I can't just throw that away," she said checking the clock on the far end of the wall.

"What about the future you have with me?" I said lowering my voice down a little.

"Jack, there was no future to begin with. I didn't see one then and I definitely don't see one now,"

And just like that she tore me apart all over again.

[BRITTANY'S POV]

I knew what I had to do and luckily I did it without breaking down.

Jack looked torn. He looked so devastated and I can't say that I was satisfied with what I did. I never intended to hurt him that much but I guess that's what you call karma - a big fucked up pain in the ass.

Trevor waited patiently in the car as I walked through the parking lot. He smiled and opened my door from the inside. I thanked him as soon as I got in and then we were on our way to the beach where we would meet up with Sophie and Chase.

I swore I'd stop thinking about the situation and luckily Trevor didn't ask about it but it wouldn't stop eating all the other thoughts in my head. The thought bubble inside my head was only getting bigger and bigger and it was hard to shove aside.

Last night when decided that it was time Jack and I got back together, I kissed him and then left but once I got back to our dorm, Sophie was waiting at the door with her hands crossed over her chest waiting for a rendition of the story behind what went on between Jack and I. So without further adieu, I told her. Everything.

She listened and she let me speak. She gave me my moment to shine and by the time I was through, she had her time to yap about what an adventure I've had stating that she was jealous beyond anything you could possibly imagine. I told her she was crazy for thinking that what happened was a good thing.

That night I thought about it right before I went to bed and just like that, it clicked like a switch. I couldn't spend my life with a guy like Jack. I mean with everything moving so quickly in his life, it was hard to catch up. I wanted a moderately-paced life. Not too fast and not too slow. I didn't want to take nosedives into every event life might throw at me. Thinking about it was scary already.

But then again, maybe I'm just making excuses. Maybe the real reason why I didn't want to be with him was that I was scared to let myself love or let alone live.

He tore me apart once and once is enough to last a lifetime.


	7. Chapter 7

"So what did that guy want?" Trevor asked as soon as we started to make our way to the beach.

"Nothing really," I said resting my hand at the edge of my seat.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" he told me as he reached for my hand absent-mindedly. He held it for quite a bit, grasping it tightly as he waited for me to answer him.

I couldn't really find any words to say. It was probably because I was both surprised and shocked. The way his hand felt on mine was comforting, but in some ways it also felt wrong. I don't know why it did but it seemed like his hand on mine was like cheating on your boyfriend or something.

"Are you okay?" he said squeezing my hand once.

I licked my lips and sucked in a breath as I tried to show off my best smile. It didn't feel like it was believable. Question was if he could see right through it or not.

"Um, yeah," I said stumbling. Stumbling when I talk is always a bad sign. If he knew me better, maybe he'd stop the car and get me to speak my mind. Luckily he wasn't that kind of person.

We got to the beach and Trevor parked the car. I grabbed the car door but before I could open it Trevor cleared his throat. I turned my head slowly somehow afraid to face him.

"As it turns out, Sophie and Chase can't make it today," Trevor announced as he read the message that he got on his phone.

"Oh, that doesn't mean we can't enjoy a day at the beach, does it?" I asked with a real smile on my face this time.

He smiled brightly before getting out of the car. We grabbed our belongings and then found a place to set our stuff upon. It was bright and sunny outside. A truly beautiful day to be at the beach but apparently, other people didn't think so since there weren't a lot of people soaking up the heat. I slithered sunblock all over my legs and arms before taking my shirt off revealing my blue and white striped bikini. I caught Trevor looking but as soon as he caught me watching him stare at me, he blushed and turned away.

"I'm not the first girl you've seen in a bikini, am I?" I chuckled as I put my shades on and put my hair up in a bun.

"Uh, no," he said turning to me. I wasn't sure if it was the heat that was making his cheeks rosy but they were getting even redder by the minute. "But I've never seen a girl as hot in a bikini as you. That's for sure."

"Right," I said handing him the bottle of sunblock. "Can you put some on my back?"

He smiled that cheeky smile of his as he sat me down on the blanket he set out on the sand. He got behind me and a few seconds later, I felt the cold liquid on the small of my back.

The way his hands moved across my back and under the strap of my top was comforting. The awkwardness ad guilt that I seemed to feel in the car shrugged away and suddenly being with him didn't seem so wrong anymore.

When he reached all the contours of my back, he kept his hands on my skin. He started massaging me and it felt so good that I closed my eyes and tilted my head back. That's when I felt his lips on my neck. I was alarmed at first but when I started to relax, the feeling took over and made me realize that there was really only one reason I was holding back and that was because I wasn't over Jack. Whether I accept the fact or not, I really am not over him but if this is one step closer to at least trying, then I guess I'll have to give it my all.

I leaned farther back until my head touched his shoulder. My eyes were still closed as I tried to take in the moment. My hands landed on his knee and I slid them up a bit. This got his attention. He started to plant butterfly kisses from neck up to my ear and back. We started to sink lower and all of a sudden, my head was on the blanket and he got on top of me. I opened my eyes and looked into his eyes. For the first time, I found honesty and real infatuation instilled in them. He really did like me.

Our lips crashed into each other as he closed the gap between us. His lips moved smoothly across mine as we made out on the sand. It seemed silly and corny but personally, I didn't really care anymore. This feeling I felt for him made me so careless that I couldn't give a damn about all the other people who stared or thought we were stupid for displaying our affection in public. To hell with them for not being able to understand what it's like to be infatuated with someone.

I pulled away to catch my breath but apparently, he had no plans to stop at all. He nuzzled into my neck and planted more kisses. It would probably be a miracle if I got out of here without a hickey on my neck. He was getting really aggressive.

"Whoa, slow down there, tiger," I said placing my hands on his chest so I could push him away gently.

"Sorry," he laughed as he got off of me. " I guess I got a little carried away."

"A little too carried away, actually," said a voice from behind us.

I turned almost instantly as I saw Jack with his hands across his chest. I was about to say something to him but Trevor beat me to it.

"You got a problem, man?" he said getting up and out of the umbrella.

"Who, me? Oh no, actually you guys should just keep going. I think it was about to go somewhere before she pushed you away," Jack said sarcastically.

"Jack, what are you even doing here?" I asked getting in between them. The battle seemed to be too heated up. I needed to separate them before it was too late.

"The band's spending a day at the beach," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Was this the guy you talked to before we came here?" Trevor chimed back in.

"That doesn't matter," I told him but he shook his head at me.

"Of course it matter," he said sincerely.

Jack smirked at what he heard and got Trevor pissed once again. God was this messed up.

I didn't want a fight to brew right here because I didn't want a scene but what was I supposed to do to hold them back from each other?

Just when I was about to lose hope, Alex, Zack and Rian walked our way and said their hellos.

I wished for a miracle. A peace treaty maybe but I knew Jack and I knew Trevor. They both get what they want and fight for it if they don't get it. Sadly I was stuck in the middle, and right now, the middle was the worst part to be in.


	8. Chapter 8

The tension was only getting worse as the seconds ticked by. I couldn't handle the pressure so I did what was best for everyone. I jumped in and pushed Trevor away from the scene.

"Give us a sec, will you?" I asked Jack semi-nicely as I pulled Trevor farther away from where we set up our belongings.

As soon as we were far away, I sighed and looked up into Trevor's eyes with so much misery. He seemed really heated up and the temperature wasn't helping us at all.

"You really shouldn't get all worked up about this," I told him placing a hand on his chest.

He held me close and didn't say anything more. When we parted I observed his expression and he seemed calmer now. I gave him a small smile before connecting our lips. He seemed even happier after I kissed him.

I looked back and saw that the guys were still there staring right back at us. I didn't get a clear view of their faces so I couldn't tell what they were thinking. I saw Rian start to turn away but Jack held him in place. They formed a circle and planned something. I didn't really want anything to do with them today so I turned back and faced Trevor who was looking at the water.

"I'm gonna go for a swim," he said. "Wanna come with?"

"I'll be there in a sec," I told him with a smile. "Just go on ahead,"

He left without question and rushed to the water. I exhaled heavily before turning on my heel. I didn't understand why they were still there just waiting for me instead having their fun but it was sort of flattering. Not that I cared.

"Why are you guys still here?" I asked in an irritated tone.

"This isn't your beach, you know," Jack mentioned making my temper rise.

"What I meant was: why are you still in our spot?" I replied in a snarky tone.

"Oh, give up the act already. The guy's sorry for Christ's sake. Why can't you just accept that?" Alex exclaimed exasperatedly.

"Yeah? Well you're one to talk," I said, "and it's not an act. I live in New York now and I'm leading a new life. I don't want you guys to destroy my chance of starting again."

"Oh please you miss us just as much as we miss you," Rian said trying to keep the mood light but I was far away from smiling at this moment.

My eye twitched in so much anger that it scared Rian. "You see that's where you're wrong. I don't want anything to do with any of you and I'm sorry if that sounded really bitchy of me but if I stay in contact with one of you, I'll never be able to move on," I sighed and looked around.

"Guys, can you leave us for a sec?" Jack asked nicely. He seemed really hurt by what I said.

"Didn't I already say that I wanted nothing to do with you?" I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"Look, I can't change your mind about me and I can't force you to be with me because I can see it in your eyes that you're clearly not interested but don't take it out on them. They did nothing to you – well, except Alex – but don't you think it's about time you start forgiving him?" Jack begged.

"Jack, I really don't want to deal with any of this," I whispered as I looked at the sand on the ground.

"Well, you have to. I don't care if we don't end up together but all I want is for all this drama to be cleared up and for us to be friends again. I really don't want to have to leave here feeling the same way I've felt this past year," he said with a poignant tone in his voice.

"Are you sure that's all you want?" I asked even though I knew exactly that what he negotiated wouldn't satisfy him whole.

"Yes," he confirmed half-heartedly.

I let go of my bitter feelings knowing it would be useless to keep a big grudge over them. I showed Jack a small smile. "Okay," I said extending my hand for him to shake. He took it and I saw a spark of hope in his eyes. It was heartbreaking to see the boy all down and out and I feel sorry for the guys for having to deal with him in this state for a year or so.

I pulled Jack and wrapped my arms around him and whispered an apology before pulling away. He was surprised that I actually hugged him. I smirked before making my way over to the guys who were seated in a spot in the sand. They stood up as they saw me approach and I smiled at them.

"Okay, I'm sorry for what I said and I can't stand being mad at you schmucks so I'm calling a peace treaty in the form of a hug," I said and heard bits of laughter escape their lips. At least they're not really angry at me.

First I hugged Zack. His strong arms found their way around my body and took in the moment. Out of the two other guys, I think I missed Zack the most. I've never had the same kind of connection with anyone else. That connection was what made our relationship unique and when we didn't see each other or hear from each other for a long period of time, I came to realize that life didn't feel the same. I mean there was no spark that said I was alive and ready to face a new day. And if it's not surprising enough, we managed to keep it friendly. Zack almost slipped up though but nothing ever really happened. At least that's what I thought.

"I've missed you," he told me and I smiled before hugging him once more.

Next up was Rian. He's always been there for me when no one else was and standing here before him today with everything that's happened. I just wanted to hug him because I couldn't think of anything else to say to make it all okay.

"I'm sorry for being mean to you," I told him before pulling apart.

He smirked and shook his head before saying, "Don't worry, I understand."

I smiled at Rian before facing Alex. I didn't know what to say about him. I mean we've had our bitter moments but I guess there were also nice things about him. I can't say that he's been the best kind of friend I could have but everyone has asshole moments, right? I just didn't understand why he had to pour it all on me.

"I don't know why I even have the nerve to forgive you but you are now forgiven," I told him and he found it amusing at first but then I saw the guilt plaster on his face almost as instantly.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely before hugging me.

Once everything was settled, I said goodbye and made my way down to the beach where Trevor was floating about. He motioned for me to get in and I did what he told me to.

He was in a much better mood now and I felt as if the whole world was finally going my way but then my heart thought that what I did today was nothing but a big pile of crap served on a silver platter. In all honesty, without the whole masquerade or charade, I wanted nothing more than to be with Jack again. I really wanted to be with him more than anything in the world.

I must be really fucked in the head to think I can live life knowing I had a chance to really fix things but decided not to.


	9. Chapter 9

Once everything returned to neutral, days seemed to pass by like seconds. Tyler and I never really made it exclusively official that we were together. He had this really big reputation to keep up and with school and everything, I couldn't really keep up. Besides, I didn't want the big spotlight shining down on me every time we entered the door at a party or a gathering. We went out on dates every now and then but we managed to keep it at a friendly note. Nothing more, nothing less.

Fall was coming to an end and everything around us started to heat up for the summer. Today was the last day of classes for me. After this last day, I could do whatever the hell I wanted to for the next three months. I was actually planning to start working for a company to get some money saved up for when I graduate college but procrastination got to me first and made me change my plans.

"We're heading to The Hamptons a week from now," Sophie mentioned as she fixed her hair for the last day.

"Wow, that sounds really relaxing," I told her as I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I've always wondered what it was like in The Hamptons.

"You're free to join us, of course."

"And be the third wheel? I don't think so." I wiped my face with a towel as I made my way out of the bathroom. "Besides, you two need lots of alone time and I don't want to get in the middle of that."

"Then what are you doing this summer?" she asked, turning to me.

"Well I was planning to intern for a magazine this summer. You know, to build up my credits," I explained.

"Oh please, you don't need that crap. You've got a lot up your ass already," she laughed. I just rolled my eyes as I got ready for class.

"Well, I'll think of something. Don't worry about it," I said tying my hair up in a bun.

She smirked as she got up from the vanity and grabbed an apple from the fruit basket on the island counter. "I'll catch you later!" she called out as she ran out of the door. She was obviously eager for this day to end already. I would be too if I didn't have to take the exams that I studied for.

I shook my head at her and grabbed my messenger bag. I was about to head out when I heard my phone ring. I grabbed it from my pocket and wondered who in the world would call me at this hour. I mean everyone I knew was either having an examination or packing up for the summer.

"Hello?" I answered after seeing that it was an unknown number on the screen.

"Hey, Brit!" Flyzik greeted loudly from the other line. "How've you been?"

"Hey Matt, well I've been better. I'm running late for an exam though," I said looking at the clock and realizing that I was actually 5 minutes away from having the doors shut before me.

"Well, don't worry this will be quick," he paused to clear his throat. "I was actually wondering if you were interested in spending your summer with us. You know go for another tour and to just hang out and what not."

"Really, Matt? You really wanna replay everything that unfolded?" I asked sarcastically as I ran down the stairs.

"Well, its different now, isn't it?" he asked.

"But I'm supposed to be interning at some company to build up my credits," I whined as I made my way inside the building I've grown to know so well.

"Well, we can provide that for you," he reassured.

"I don't want your money, Flyzik," I told him as I reached the room I was supposed to be in minutes ago for a review.

"Don't worry, I'm won't be the one paying you."

"Then who?" I asked, alarmed.

"Let's just say I know people who know people. But really, you don't have to worry about it. I've got it covered just think about it and get back to me, okay?" he told me in a rush.

"Okay then," I told him and he said goodbye before putting down the phone.

I looked at my phone and shook my head before saving his number to my contacts.

I entered the room and grabbed a seat somewhere at the back. Apparently, the review covered everything I studied and nothing more so I was safe. I just hope I don't black out somewhere in the middle.

I finished the exam with flying colors. I was confident with every question that was thrown my way and I felt so relieved that it was all over now. I was about to head back to the dorm when suddenly, I felt someone tap my shoulder from behind.

"Oh hey, Trevor," I greeted with a hug. I thought that since classes were over he'd head straight to whatever frat party he was invited to but when my common sense kicked in and made me realize that it was only 2 in the afternoon, I rethought the whole situation. But either way, this was quite a weird occurrence. He never came by just to talk to me or anything like that. He was always so busy with 'projects' or whatever they do at a fraternity.

"I have a surprise for you."

"Really? What is it?" I asked a little too eagerly.

A smile spread wide on his face and I was beginning to get a little scared. He reached into his pocket for something and revealed a tiny box – the kind that usually holds an engagement ring. I looked at him with wide eyes and he just laughed my expression.

"Relax, it's not what you think," he said grabbing my hand and placing the box in it.

"Then what's inside?" I asked, half-relieved but still half-scared.

"It's just something to remember me by," he said giving me a kiss on the cheek. "I hope you have a great summer. Oh, and if you ever need anything, you know how to reach me."

I smiled at him as he waved goodbye and walked away. Once he was far away, I stared at the red velvet box that he had placed in my hand. It revealed a gold necklace with a golden starfish as a pendant. There was a note on the cover that said: '_For the day you showed me that there was more to life than working my ass off to stay on top.'_

I laughed to myself as I put the necklace around my neck. I walked back towards the dorms and thought about Matt's offer. I mean it wouldn't really be wise to head into another tour with them, would it? I mean sure I made up with the guys but another couple of months with them and all the drama? I don't think I can handle that anymore.

I got to the dorm just in time for my favorite show on TV so once I got inside, I plopped on the couch and switched on the telly. I could tell that the rest of the day would come by smoothly. I think the whole summer, I'll be spending it here in my dorm just watching television and going out occasionally. No studying, not that much socializing, just me and my shadow having fun with our new best friend: the television. Well that and my laptop.

"So have you decided yet?" Sophie asked. I didn't even notice that she came into the room. I was that engrossed by the show I was watching.

"Decided what?" I asked keeping my eyes on the pictures on the screen.

The scene was so intense and was only about to get better when suddenly, Sophie grabbed the remote and switched the TV off.

"Hey! What was that for?" I exclaimed as I tried to snatch the remote away from her.

"Calm down! I'll give it back to you when we're done talking," she assured me but I didn't get to TiVo. That only made the situation worse.

"If you're asking, no I haven't made any summer plans yet but there were a lot of offers," I told her.

She raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Tell me about them."

"Well there's The Hamptons," I said and she rolled her eyes, "There's lying around here doing nothing for the next three months and then there's Matt's offer."

"Who's Matt?" she asked inquisitively as she took a seat right beside me on the couch.

"He's the band manager of All Time Low," I told her as I looked at my nails.

"Take it," she said almost immediately.

"What, why? Option number two seemed really promising," I joked.

"I'm serious," she said firmly. "You'll regret not going."

"How sure are you?" I asked crossing my arms against my chest and giving her the look I give people when I don't really believe what they're saying.

"I just know." And with that she gave the remote back to me and got inside her bedroom.

I didn't even bother to switch the TV on anymore. I bit my lip as I reached for my phone and looked for Matt's number in the contact list. Was I really going to do this? Was I ready for what was yet to come? Not knowing the answers to my questions has never stopped me from doing anything so why should I stop now?

With a heavy breath, I listened to the ringing on the other line and waited for Matt to answer so that I can accept his offer. This was going to be one hell of a ride.


	10. Chapter 10

Today was the day. I was going to get back on that tour bus I've missed quite a lot for some reason and I was going to be with the guys for the next month and a half. This tour was shorter than the last but even if it wasn't going to be as long, I still had second thoughts about the whole thing.

I know Matt promised me that everything will be fine but who can blame me for not trusting what that guy says? For all I know, it might just be some kind of pity promise he made to Jack. I shook my head as I thought of what might happen.

Thoughts raced inside and out of my head. But they were cut short when a bus honked right outside the apartment building. I breathed in heavily before heading down the stairs with my bags. My camera was already around my neck and this time, I made sure I brought a handful of lenses so I'd really be able to practice shooting.

Sophie already left like 2 days ago since she couldn't handle the wait and Chase had begged her to start the trip about 3 days early so during those last three days – the ones I had all to myself – I spent my time packing all of the crap I needed, buying travel-sized kits and making sure that my thoughts were composed and that I was in one piece. The last part was a bust though since I really couldn't hold it together. I paced around the empty dorm all the time in hopes that I'd calm down. Sadly, that never happened.

I took my time as I ventured down the stairs. I kept doing breathing exercises and everyone that was heading up was looking at me like I was some kind of psychotic weirdo. Maybe I was but now's not the time to analyze things like that.

Once I finally reached the bottom of the stairs, I met the smiling faces of Zack, Jack, Matt and Rian. They told me that Alex was still sleeping in the bus. I didn't really question that seeing as it was only 8 in the morning.

Zack helped me with my bags – no matter how much I insisted him not to – while the others bear-hugged me 'til I couldn't breathe anymore.

"It's nice to see you guys too but I don't think it'd be that pleasant if we started today with me crashing on the floor before I can spend time talking with all of you," I said as I struggled to find my way out.

They all laughed as they let go of me and led me to the bus that was parked right outside the building. I hopped on and saw that there were some major improvements. The lighting inside the bus made it feel like we were in this relaxing hotel but once I smelled the inside, I pushed away all thoughts of relaxation and scrunched my face up. It smelled like a guy's room – minus the gym socks scent.

"Sorry for the smelly inconvenience. The ventilation on this busted because someone stuffed things inside it and clogged it all up," Matt said leading me to the kitchen that smelled a tad bit better than the hallway.

"Its fine," I told him as I sat on the couch.

"Hey, are you hungry?" Rian called out from the kitchen.

I really didn't want to have to take advantage of my stay here by gobbling down all their food but they did invite me here so what the hell.

"Sure, what do you have in the pan?" I asked Rian as I made my way over to the island counter and hopped on a stool.

Rian placed a batch of pancakes onto my plate and placed it before me. I was about to start digging in when I realized that I didn't have anything to eat it with.

"Are the utensils still in the same place?" I asked him. He barely nodded since he was so concentrated on flipping his pancakes.

I shook my head at him as I stood up and opened the top drawer behind the counter and grabbed a fork. And since I never eat pancakes without maple syrup, I went to the pantry and grabbed the bottle that I was looking for before returning to my place where Alex now was.

I stopped and stared at him for a few seconds. He looked better than he did before and I hoped he didn't catch on to what I was doing because that would be embarrassing. I didn't know what it was but when I saw him, it was as if this new profound feeling grew in me and made me think that I was back in high school and he was the guy that passed in the hallways and made my heart flutter whenever he nodded his hello.

I shook all the thoughts out of his head as his brown eyes landed on mine. He smiled at me and I returned it awkwardly before heading back to my seat.

"Hey, thanks," he said grabbing the fork and the syrup away from me. The weird thing was: I didn't give a single fuck that he took away my breakfast.

I couldn't find the words to speak or complain about what just happened. For some weird and unusual reason, I just let it happen. Was I serious about actually developing these feelings for him? I tried to make myself hate him by remembering what happened in the past but that only made me realize one thing and that was if I really did dislike him, it wouldn't be that hard to find something that could make my mind go crazy in anger.

I thought about this more in silence but before I could do anything else, I felt him stare at me from the side. His eyes were burning holes in my cheek. I turned around slowly and watch him chew and swallow.

"Want some?" he asked and I smiled as I shook my head a little too fast.

"Y-you can have it," I said, losing my appetite.

The bus had started moving about a while ago and there was no way I could get some breathing space or some time alone to myself. So instead of going really far away, I went back to the hallway and asked Matt where I was going to sleep.

"Well, you can have your old bunk if you want," he mentioned and I nodded my thanks as I tried to get settled in.

I didn't know what it was that made my mind alter itself. I never thought I'd find Alex attractive even though he really was. I thought I knew the real him and that was: major douchebag with no sense of maturity or well-being that plays with girls' feelings and breaks them apart in the end. Harsh, I know. But that was always what I set my mind on whenever I heard his name or he came into the picture. So what made me think that this time, he was a changed person? I had no proof that clarified that statement but hopefully, this phase will end and my mind will be set on the real reason I'm here and that is to work on my college credits, right?


	11. Chapter 11

We arrived at the venue a few hours later. I didn't actually realize that I had taken a nap until I woke up in my bunk after being shaken awake by Flyzik.

"It's time to get up, Brittany," he told me as I rubbed the sleep away from my eyes.

I nodded at Matt and sat up. I hopped out of my bunk and saw that I was the only one left inside. "How long has it been since we arrived?" I asked Matt who was grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Well, it's been about twenty minutes." He smiled at me before heading out of the bus.

I yawned as I sleepily made my way into the comfort room but little did I know that there was actually someone there taking a bath.

Alex screamed like a girl once I got inside and saw him naked. I don't know why but I checked him out before screaming as well but I started to laugh as I rushed back out. The guys came back on the bus and found me on the floor laughing my ass off.

"What happened?" Jack asked with a big smile on his face.

"What happened was that this girl right here disturbed my bath," Alex answered, coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He sprinkled suds all over me as I tried to get up.

"I'm sorry but I didn't know you were inside," I told him as I got up from the floor. "And besides, you didn't even lock the door."

Alex just rolled his eyes, totally embarrassed, as he walked back into the bathroom. I made my way to the kitchen sink instead to splash my face with water but I didn't think it was that necessary anymore seeing that I was already really awake.

I don't know if I should forget about what I saw or treasure my eyes for seeing what they did. To be quite honest, he was pretty hot underneath all the clothes he's always wrapped up in. Oh my God, what am I thinking?

The guys shrugged it off as they went back outside the bus. Since I couldn't use the bathroom, I went out of the bus as well. I made my way to the merch tent where Vinny was and watched him grab shirts from really big boxes.

"Are you gonna stand there all day long?" he asked, wiping the sweat off his face.

I smiled and bit my lip. "Maybe," I laughed.

"Get your ass over here and help me!" he joked as he went back to work.

I chuckled as I crossed over the counter and helped him unpack boxes. Once everything as placed on the table, we started to arrange everything in size and in color. Once we were both satisfied, we sat on the chairs that were provided and started to make small talk.

"So how've you been holding up?" I asked Vinny as he placed his feet up on the table and rocked his chair back.

"Well, it's been the same. I mean nothing much has really changed," he said.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked bringing my feet up and crossing them Indian-style on the chair.

"Jack's been making more dick jokes, Zack's still working out, Rian's practically the same, Matt's still obsessed with Mickey but Alex...," he trailed off suddenly. "There's something off about him."

"Like what?" I asked almost immediately.

Vinny did a double-take before answering me, "Well, he's been silent for a while now. I mean ever since Matt told us that you'd be hanging with us for this tour, he hasn't been the same loud, obnoxious ass that he is."

I had to laugh at that but it also had me wondering. Did he not want me here? I mean if someone in this tour wanted me gone then I think I'd take the first cab ride home. I didn't want to be a nuisance to any of them. That's exactly why I didn't want to come in the first place.

I was about to say something else when Alex himself was right in front of us. "Hey, uh, Brit," he stammered. "Can we go and get some coffee? I really want to talk to you."

I looked at him in surprise as I processed what he just said. "Um, yeah, sure." I told him as I got up. "You got everything covered here, right?" I asked Vinny. He just saluted as he moved his cap over his eyes to take a nap.

I hopped over the counter and started walking out of the venue with Alex. "So what's up?" I asked him.

He seemed really nervous and somehow it was getting to me. "We'll talk when we get there."

We walked in an awkward silence as we made our way to the coffee shop down the street. Fortunately for us, there were no screaming fans rushing to be by Alex's side. Maybe there were a few who asked for a picture and a signature but that was about it. One of them even said hi to me telling me that she just loves how Jack and I were together. I didn't say anything about it because I didn't want to break her heart. For all I knew, Jack and I being together was the only reason she believed in love. That might've been an exaggeration but it could've been true.

Once we got our orders in and the barista called out Alex's name, he brought the order to our table by the window and heaved a heavy sigh.

"Is everything alright?" I asked him as I opened the cap of my cup and placed in some sugar and milk.

I looked up at him when he didn't answer. He hasn't touched his coffee and all he was doing was looking down. He was sulking.

"Alex, what's wrong?" I said getting up and getting in beside him. I placed a hand on his back and he flinched away.

"I'm sorry," was all he said. He was on the verge of actually breaking down and crying.

"Um, Alex, if you didn't know any better, I forgave you that day we all met up on the beach." I smiled at him but he was far from feeling any sign relief.

"But it still doesn't feel right," he said. He looked out the window to avoid looking into my eyes.

"Alex, it's okay," I said reaching for the hand that was on his lap. I didn't know where I gathered the courage to do that – or to do all of this – but I wasn't complaining. "We're friends now. You shouldn't feel that way anymore."

"Brittany, I didn't mean to play a mean trick on you. I didn't know that what you and Jack had was what made him so happy. I just thought that he liked the thought of having you – not the real you," he said, making a very sincere apology.

"We're all past it now," I said, giving him a friendly hug. "Just keep your head up and smile. For all I know depriving you of your smile can make all your fans psycho."

He laughed at that and it was nice to hear him laugh for once. Our hands were still interlaced and he didn't seem to want to take his hand away. I wasn't one to complain either. I was just glad to know that the reason behind why he wanted to talk wasn't because he wanted me gone. He was actually guilty for what he did.

I grabbed my coffee cup and stirred its contents before taking a sip. I slowly slipped my hand away from his as I held the cup with two hands. I felt his stare on me the whole time. I smiled to myself as I placed the cup back on the table.

"Aren't you going to drink your cup?" I asked him, bringing him back into the present.

He smiled as he looked down and blushed. He was a pretty cute guy. Wow, my thoughts are really scaring me.

"Thanks," he said after taking a sip.

"What for?" I asked him as I returned to my original seat which was right across him.

"For forgiving me and my childishness." He gave me one of those charming smiles and I swear the butterflies in my stomach fluttered everywhere.

"It's my pleasure," Or should I say guilty pleasure? I swear my brain is racking up the weirdest thoughts.

We talked some more before heading out of the coffee shop and back to the venue. I was glad I was able to fix things with Alex even if it already was fixed in the first place. I didn't know why but I was glad to hear that he was actually sorry for what he did. I didn't think he'd have the guts to admit he was wrong but I guess there was a lot to Alex that I didn't know and this was only the beginning.


	12. Chapter 12

When we got to the venue, All Time Low's sound check had started. Meaning, I was left alone and by myself. Luckily, my camera was on the bus. But as I walked towards the bus, I felt a group of girls staring at me. It made me sort of uncomfortable and scared so I took a detour and made my way to the merch tent where Vinny was doing business with some customers. I slid under the tables without him noticing and took a seat on the empty monoblock that was right beside him.

When the other customers cleared the way, I saw the same group of girls eyeing me like I was some piece of meat they wanted to pound. I don't really know why I got scared easily but for some reason, their glares were sort of frightening. I didn't want any trouble here and I didn't know that things would all come boiling down to this. I mean sure I can take one or two down but there were four of them.

"Vinny, why do you think those girls are glaring this way?" I asked, looking at my feet so it wouldn't be clear that I was talking about them.

"Gee, I don't know but they don't look like a perky group of ladies," Vinny said, sitting down beside me. "What did you do just now?"

"I just went out and got coffee with Alex! What's so wrong about that?"

"Who knows? Maybe they're just jealous."

"Seriously, Vinny?" I couldn't think of anything more to add up to that. I mean they could be pretty jealous and I've heard about cat fights during tours but when you're actually in the middle of one, now that's a different story.

A few seconds later, they huddled up and then one of them – the blonde with the fake tan and most probably fake boobs – came over to the booth. My stomach started to get a little queasy as they asked Vinny if they had this shirt she was describing.

"I'm sorry but we're out of stock for that one," he told her. "But maybe you can scan the shirts here to see if you'd want something else."

"Hey, aren't you that whore who went out with both Jack and Garrett last year? I thought I'd recognize you," she said in a tone so calm that you'd think she didn't have bad intentions in her head. But her words were as vile as those thoughts locked up in her tiny brain.

"A. I'm not a whore; and, B. I went out with Garrett after Jack and I broke up," I explained but she just rolled her eyes.

"You're still a slut though. Everybody thinks you're here to get laid. I mean you snagged Jack and Garrett. Zack seemed to like you too and now Alex? Wow, you probably need an award for that."

I swallowed hard to keep my temper down. I knew where this was going and I knew that she was playing with my head. She wanted something to happen so she can go tell the whole world in a blog or a tweet. She's trying to bring me down but one thing the world doesn't know is that I can be a bitch and fuck with other people's heads too. It's not like I was born yesterday. If she wanted to play, then I guess I'm going to have to kick her ass. Not literally though; unless of course she asks for it.

"Whoa, do we need to call security here?" Vinny chimed in, getting startled.

"You probably should, Vin. We don't need trouble here," I said, keeping my emotions dry. I was good at putting on a poker face. No one ever saw straight through me.

Vinny grabbed his walkie-talkie out of his pocket and channelled it. I watched as the girl's eyes bulge out of their sockets in fear. She walked – wait no, ran – away from the scene and told her friends about it. One of them sneered at me before walking away with her posse. I swear I can never be safe on these grounds again.

"You better be careful," Vinny suggested, reading my mind.

"Well, if something happens, I can always sue them," I laughed. As if I had the money to press charges. I mean we had a lawyer but he was back in Maryland doing only God knows what.

Vinny just shook his head before attending to the wave of customers that were coming at him. I exhaled heavily as I climbed out of the booth and made my way to the bus. Luckily, I felt no more heavy glares on my back.

For the next few hours, I went from tent to tent to meet the bands playing on this tour. The other bands on this tour were The Summer Set, Yellowcard and Hey Monday. I've met Cassadee Pope and the rest of their band before but this will be the first time I meet the guys from Yellowcard and The Summer Set. I was pretty pumped to say the least but I knew that fan-girling over the whole thing would get me nowhere near them. So, I did my best to stay put.

"Brittany! You're here!" Alex Lipshaw called out while I was making my way over to their merch tent.

"Hey Lipshaw," I greeted him as soon as we were both in hearing range. I gave him a hug and then we started to chat a bit.

"So you're back here for good?" he asked as he signed a few things for some fans.

"Not really," I told him. "I'm just here for the summer."

"That sucks," he said, saying goodbye to his fans.

We talked about a few more things before Cassadee and Mike came and welcomed me. I felt so appreciated for a few good moments and I thought that tour could never ever as bad as it was back then.

The hours seemed like minutes as they went by. Next thing I knew, all the sets were done and I was beat. I couldn't wait to climb in my bunk and sleep. Just as I was meeting with the guys – who were busy signing and hanging out with the other fans – the same group of girls came up to me.

"Not feeling so strong or brave now, huh?" their spokesperson asked.

I might never have said anything but I have this huge anger problem. I tend to get really angry and to keep it short, a lot of shit can go down if you provoke me. I've always dealt with my anger by jogging around to clear my head but this was different. The problem was staring at me and was coming at me face first. There was no way out of this unless I gave them what they were looking for.

"What are you trying to prove exactly?" I asked, crossing my clenched fists across my arms so they don't see how angry I am.

Blondie didn't answer for a while. That's when her friend – with wild red hair that was in this crazy do – came in and tried to defend her. "We want the world to know what kind of monster you are."

"Well, I'm sorry to break it down to you but I'm no monster," I told them as I exhaled a breath.

"What, did you suddenly turn blind or something?" Blondie asked.

"Well my eyes are working pretty fine so, no."

"No one likes a smart-ass," one other girl said. She was sorta pretty. She was the kind of girl who had the perfect brunette curls and the perfect facial features and shit like that. It would be so satisfying to see it all go away with one punch though.

"No one likes bullies either," I retorted and then everything became even tenser.

"Would you just stop with the bullshit already?" Blondie yapped.

"Dude, I'm not doing anything wrong here."

I was going to walk past them when suddenly they moved closer. Two of them stepped away though. They were probably scared to get hurt or whatever. If you ever saw Ms. Blondie, you'd probably think she was just an average girl. She had blonde hair which she probably flat-ironed, bulging blue eyes, no piercings and no tattoos. Nothing about her screams bad girl. As for the redhead, maybe you can count her hair as something badass but that was about it. I don't even know why they were looking for trouble.

The redhead shoved me back. I shrugged it off and swerved to the left to get past them. I was only pulled back by Blondie though and I crashed right on my ass. I was going to make her pay for that.

"You really don't want to start a fight here," I said, looking from side to side. People were starting to stare.

"You scared?" Redhead asked.

"Nope, but you both should be," I told them as I got up from the ground and clenched my jaw. I swear if I got even angrier, I'd probably break all my teeth.

Blondie smirked before trying to hock a loogie which failed quite miserably. I was dying of laughter inside but I didn't want to cause an even bigger scene. So instead I just scoffed.

"Oh, so you think that's funny?" she said with the meanest eyes. They were hardly scary though.

"I think this whole thing is downright funny," I said, smiling a little. "I said it once and I probably have to say it again. You really do not want to do this."

"Oh please, this is what we call fun at home," she said before charging forward towards me.

She grabbed my hair and was about to bang my head on the floor but I elbowed her right in the stomach and tripped her on her feet so she fell right on the ground. She hit the ground hard and groaned in pain. Right when I was about to turn away, Redhead made her way to me and threw a punch which I dodged. She kicked my right leg hard but I didn't take the fall. Instead, I threw a big right hook to her jaw and she landed right on top of her friend.

Blondie pushed Redhead off of her and grabbed my arm and tried to throw me down but she was like the epitome of weak. Her strength was something similar to the lightest feather in the world. I tried not to hit her but she kicked the same leg and something snapped. I fell to the ground as I moaned in pain and she got on top of me. But I rolled over before she could do anything. I gave her a big ground and pound and knocked her lights out. I was going out of control. Her nose was bleeding and I think I cut her lip. I was about to make things worse when suddenly a pair of arms dragged me away from the body.

I was fighting to get that person's grip off me but when I looked at exactly who was holding me back, I stopped trying. Zack was staring at me with shocked eyes. I didn't say anything to him. Instead, I looked at her two friends who were videotaping it with a video cam. A lot of people were surrounding us now but luckily, I saw no other device being held up. I limped my way over to the two and they stared at me in fright. They were backing down slowly when I held the one with the video cam by the wrist.

"Hand me the cam," I said feeling a little out of breath. My heart was pumping hard. My leg hurts like hell and I couldn't stand on it.

The girl gave it to me and I took the memory card and placed it in my pocket. I gave them back the camera since I had no plans on keeping it. I'm not that mean.

"If I hear about this from anyone, you know what will happen. Tell your friends the same," I warned. I stared deep into their scared eyes as they trembled in fright. They nodded quickly as they held each other's hand. I limped away from them and made my way over to where Zack and the rest were. But I couldn't go that far since my leg was killing me.

I watched as a few paramedics came to the rescue. I was asked a few questions by the officers that came over to me and I told them that they provoked me and I only tried to protect myself by hitting them. They believed me and told me that there were other cases like this. Usually it had something to do with drugs. When the officers searched their pockets, they found a few sticks of weed. They didn't interrogate me for anything else and said that I was lucky that I actually knew how to deal with people like them.

I was catching my breath when all of a sudden I fell to the ground. My leg hurt like hell and all I wanted to do was close my eyes and be gone forever. The pain in my leg felt like the worst thing in the world. It wasn't long 'til I saw Jack coming over to me to try and help me up but before I could say anything, I blacked out.


	13. Chapter 13

From the time I blacked out completely and escaped reality, I dreamt that I was in some kind of bubble. It was just this confined spaced that held me inside safely. It made me think that nothing could ever reach me since I was in the clouds just floating. Little did I know that the bubble would soon pop and a throbbing pain would strike me on my right knee. My eyes shot open as I screamed in pain.

Seconds later, I remember everything that happened the night before. I got into a fight with some bitches and kicked both their lanky asses to the ground. But apparently, I didn't come out scar-less and the worst thing is that my knees have been fragile ever since they got stuck in between car seats.

About a few years ago, when I was in 7th grade, I got into a car accident. We were headed back home from school and my mom was intoxicated for some reason. She kept slurring her words and telling me that my father was some criminal who took away our money and spent it on long vacations in islands with girls or whatever. I really didn't listen to anything she said because she and my father fought like that all the time but they always ended up on good terms after their argument so I was never really worried. But when I got in the car that day, it all seemed different. She seemed overly tired and her movements were totally sloppy. That's a really big negative on my part since the car wasn't an automatic one. It had a shift stick and she wasn't moving it as much.

At that point, when I analyzed everything, my adrenaline rushed through me. I was scared shitless and I wanted to walk all the way home. But part of me was scared for my mother as well. Who knows what'll happen if I told her what I had in mind, she'd probably blow up like the most active volcano in the world. So all I did was stare at the windshield, praying to God that nothing bad would happen to us. Sadly, my prayers weren't answered and my mother fell asleep on the wheel and her foot stepped on the pedal leading us straight through a red light where we experienced a head-on collision with an SUV. I was in the back and when we crashed into the car, only the right side - the side where I was - got totally destroyed. Everything scrunched up and I didn't know what happened next. I thought I died already and was on my way to heaven but when I woke up, I was in a bright room and pain shot through all the parts of my body. They burst like fireworks here and there and it was endless. Morphine only numbed me for a considerable amount of time but after that, everything felt like hell. I wanted it all to end but my mother kept telling me to hold on. She even promised never to drink again and so far, she hasn't bought a single bottle of alcohol. Or at least I didn't see any in the house.

I thought I got paralyzed after a while since I was placed on a wheel chair but after a few rehabilitation sessions - or actually like 4 months of weird exercises - I got to place my feet back on the ground. From then on, I started to get all paranoid about my knees hurting, my ankles aching and my tendons contracting. The pain that I felt back then wasn't like the one I felt now though. This one was more like a small sprain. It was still a big pain in the ass though.

I blinked rapidly as I felt something cold land on my leg. I got up and saw that there was an ice pack wrapped around it. The cold didn't hurt. I was actually pretty used to it but I needed to alternate the pack with a hot one ten minutes from now.

I tried to slip my feet outside my bunk but once I shifted in my bed and the wood underneath creaked, I heard footsteps rushing from the back heading to where I was currently situated.

The curtains opened wide and revealed a worried Alex Gaskarth. He looked kind of sick. His lips were paler than usual and his nose was bright red. I smiled sheepishly at him as I tried to move out of the bunk. I really needed to go the bathroom to use the toilet and asking him for help seems really...weird.

"Hey, don't strain yourself," he advised. His voice sounded hoarse which got me scared for him. I mean he was the singer of the band and to have him sick was bad news not only for the members but to their whole fan base.

"You shouldn't either," I said with a smile as I slid out of the bunk.

I tried to get up and stand on my sprained knee but it buckled up beneath me and sent me falling to the ground. Luckily, Alex was there to catch me. Our faces grew closer. We were only inches apart before he regained composure and helped me stand.

"Thanks," I said feeling sort of awkward from the little slip up. "One question though: How am I going to survive in the comfort room?"

"Do you really have to go?" He looked sorta scared and that was kinda cute. I mean he seemed so innocent but I sorta knew better than that.

"Um, yea. But I think I can handle things," I said, trying to pry his hands off me so I could get a head start for the door. It took me quite a while to realize that he was the only one on the bus and that it was still evening.

"Well, I guess it's kinda sensible since you've been asleep like the whole day," he said, staring at me with those watchful eyes. "Tell you what, why don't I go fix up a buffet for you while you go do your business. Are you sure you're gonna be okay?"

His concern made me smile. I was trying to hold back a laugh but it was coming out either way. He started to blush in embarrassment which made me sorta guilty.

"If you need me for anything - anything at all - please scream or shout because I don't want you hurting yourself anymore. It's too much already," he told me staring at my knee.

I nodded at him as he helped me towards the bathroom door. Once I was inside, I locked the door and limped my way over to the toilet bowl. This situation could've had some brightness to it but my left leg was in pain as well. So both legs weren't as useful as I thought they'd be. I mean maybe the left one had some strength but it just wasn't enough. I just hope that this will all be a short phase and it'll all end soon.

Once I washed my hands, I eagerly made my way out of the bathroom and hopped on one leg to the living room which was beside the kitchen. It wasn't easy but I managed to do it. I couldn't reach the island in the kitchen since I knew my knees couldn't handle it. Alex wasn't happy about it though. I knew he saw the pain written all over my face but he didn't say anything about it. He was just considerate like that.

"Where are the others anyway?" I asked him, watching as he prepared a sandwich with peanut butter on it.

"They went out clubbing. I had to stay in because I'm getting sorta sick," he mentioned as he brought the plate in front of me.

"Is this safe to eat?" I asked, staring intently at that emotion on his face. I knew he'd be insulted but I knew we'd laugh it off.

"If you're not eating it, then I am," he said, sitting next to me on the couch.

He turned the TV on and we sat there just staring at the motion pictures onscreen. I munched on my sandwich, missing the times where my mother used to pack a sandwich like this for me.

As we watched this chic-flick, I felt him staring at me instead of the scenes in front of us. I felt kind of awkward but all I wanted to do was look to my left and connect our lips. I don't know why I even thought of that but that's what I really wanted to do and I didn't doubt that decision at all. It seemed sort of straightforward but don't you think this was sorta meant to be? Wasn't he giving me the signs? I mean that thing in the coffee shop and the gestures he's showing right now all seems too friendly - even for him. But then again, maybe I am reading into this too much.

There was only one way to find out though. If I turned to the left and our lips would meet, it means that we were really meant to be together, but if I turn to the left and things start to get awkward then that's how I know that we're really not meant for each other and that my heart belongs to someone else.

I made a three-second headcount and slowly began to twist my neck to the left. His eyes were on me the whole time. They were slowly melting into mine and I couldn't believe that I was actually here and that this was actually happening. It all seemed too cliche but as soon as our lips came closer to each other - just a few centimeters before it meets - the bus door slammed and the moment turned into dust.


	14. Chapter 14

Alex cleared his throat as I tried to regain composure. My heart's pace kept gaining speed that it was hard to take control of my senses. I got up a little eagerly and tried to walk casually to the bus door. Even I could tell there was some awkwardness in the way I placed one foot in front of the other. But then again, I did have a really bad limp so I guess it's not that noticeable.

I took a deep breath before making my way through the small hallway. Turns out that Jack was our surprise visitor but as soon as he saw me, he smiled and wrapped me up in his arms. He probably didn't see anything – which is good.

"You shouldn't be standing like that," he said, leading me back to where Alex was.

"Why are you back so soon?" I asked, feeling really uneasy. If we really did end up kissing with Alex, everything between Jack and I would've been ruined. But why do I really care? I mean it's not like we were together or anything…

"I was worried." He sat me down on the couch and took the space beside me.

Alex was nowhere to be found. I wonder what he's thinking about right now. If we really did kiss, would it mean as much to him? How exactly would it affect him? I let my thoughts run around in my head nonstop. I didn't even realize Jack was talking until he waved a hand in front of my face.

"Hey, were you listening?" he asked, regaining my attention.

"Sorry, I sorta zoned out." I can't believe I actually did that. I mean it wasn't long ago that I wanted everything to be right with Jack. What happened?

"It's okay," he smiled as he paused. "You should get some sleep though."

I allowed him to take me to my bed and closed my eyes for a while but I knew I couldn't sleep just yet. I mean I was pretty energized after sleeping the whole day. I was just about to get back out when I heard Alex and Jack talking in whispers.

"Did she ask for anything?" Jack asked Alex, showing his deep concern.

"Nope," Alex replied casually. I heard Alex walk towards the bunk right across mine.

It took all the courage in me to open the curtain a little but I was still afraid. What if Jack was right outside?

The bathroom door opened and shut. I took that as my cue and moved the curtain to the side so I could see outside my bunk. Alex gave me this look that I couldn't decipher. But whatever it was, it definitely wasn't meant to be a friendly look. It was a look of longing. I didn't know what he was longing for exactly but I think I had a crazy idea.

I mouthed an 'I'm sorry' to him but he merely shook his head. It was so hard to talk to him. Everything was so weird between us. I said good night to him before closing the curtain. I know sleep was going to be difficult but I couldn't do anything else. I just hope tomorrow will be a different day.

**JACK**

Something about her feels different. I mean I don't know what it is but it seems like she's a little disconnected. A while ago, I was telling her about what happened at the club but she didn't seem interested at all. Normally, she'd lend a listening ear to everything I say. I thought she was just tired but when I talked to Alex, he was just the same? Is there something I'm missing out on here? Alex doesn't have feelings for Brittany, does he? He could be with Brittany if he wasn't my friend but he was my bro and he knows how I feel about her. Would he really go that far?

Days have passed and the thoughts are only growing in my head. I thought it was a short-term thing but apparently, they've been giving off the same kind of attitude all week. I won't say I'm not annoyed because I really am. But at least I can control my emotions. I wouldn't want to burst out like a beast and embarrass myself. I've had too many encounters with drama and I really don't want to experience another déjà vu.

I woke up at ten in the morning. It was weird that I had gotten up extra early but I felt like sleeping would be a waste of time today.

The smell of butter and toast surrounded my nostrils as soon as I got out of my bunk. I peaked inside Brittany's bunk to see if she was still inside but she wasn't. I walked casually to the kitchen and grabbed myself a piece of French toast and a glass of milk. Today seemed like a good day.

"So where are we headed today?" I asked Flyzik as soon as he walked into the room.

"Well, we're headed to Orlando."

I actually knew we were headed to Orlando. That's why I thought that this could be a good day but I just wanted to hear someone say it so that I'd know I wasn't dreaming. But then again, maybe I shouldn't be that happy that we're headed to Disneyland. I mean Disneyland is what ruined my relationship in the first place. Why should it be my favorite place?

"Hey Jack!" a chipper Brittany limped into the kitchen. "Are you excited?"

I didn't know what it was that made her switch back to normal but then again, maybe this is a great day.

"Good morning," I greeted as she sat next to me. "How's your knee feeling?"

"Better now, thank you," she said, grabbing a fork from the side and stealing slices from my plate. "I hope you don't mind. I'm really hungry."

I smiled at her saying that she could have it. Maybe it's not too late to fix things. It's probably time I start doing something to win her back.

"You want a glass of milk?" I asked as soon as she finished my breakfast for me.

"I'm sorry," she laughed. "I didn't really mean to pig out. Or maybe I did…"

I chuckled at her and handed her the glass of milk. "Drink up. You'll need it more than I will."

"Thanks," she smiled as she drank. Once she finished half of it, she took the glass away from her lips where a milk moustache was born.

"Nice stache," I said, grabbing a table napkin from the dispenser.

She seemed confused about the situation but as soon as I wiped it off her, she thanked me with a smile.

I kept my eyes on her the whole time wondering what might happen if I connected our lips right this second. But wondering wouldn't get me anywhere so after a 5-second headcount, I went for it and brushed my lips with hers. Three seconds later though, she squirmed and pushed me away. I was startled by her reaction and I waited for an explanation.

"I'm sorry Jack but I can't," she said, covering her mouth.

She ran off to the hallway as I followed her but when I saw her, she was wrapped in Alex's arms and Alex gave me a strong glare. It's barely 11 in the morning and my day's completely destroyed. How fucked up is that?


	15. Chapter 15

**BRITTANY**

Hours after that little scene with Jack, we finally arrived at Disneyland. Alex never left my side. He was just filled with so much rage that I couldn't even take it anymore. But of course, I didn't say anything. I told him to vent it all out on me but he said that he'd rather keep it to himself. I didn't force it out of him since I didn't want to be irrational but I just wish they could fix this already because with tension on the bus, nothing's ever good.

"How could you not tell us that you two were together?" Rian asked after Alex agreed to allow him to speak to me alone.

"I don't know. I didn't think you guys would care as much," I said, making alibis. I knew that I should've told them but I was afraid of what they might think of me. I didn't want them to think that I was some slut or whatever.

"Right," Rian replied sarcastically, "Well, you should've said something because this is pretty messed up."

We were walking along some food carts, looking for something to munch on but I think my appetite got left behind somewhere along the way.

"Okay, I made a mistake. I should've said something but I was scared," I confessed. I never would've said this to anyone but I trusted Rian. I always thought he was a little more mature than the others. I was glad I had the chance to talk to him. I just hope Alex didn't cause any trouble for anyone. He was in a pretty sour mood. But even 'sour' was an understatement.

"Why would you be scared?" He stopped in his tracks, giving me a look.

"Well, I just thought that if I told you guys, you'd think I was some kind of slut or something," I said, looking around as I spoke. It was awkward to say what I did but at least I got it out.

"Brit, why in the world would your friends – the people who know you best – say that about you?" he asked in slight aggravation. I guess he had to be a little angry. I didn't trust them. Instead, I ended up hurting them.

"I don't know, Rian," I said sullenly, "Maybe it's true?" I muttered softly.

He didn't seem to hear anything so I sat on a bench under a tree for some shade. The heat wasn't that bad but I was pretty tired. My knee didn't hurt as much but it still ached a little when I walked.

Rian sighed before sitting next to me. It didn't take long for Cassadee to find us though. I had to put on a smile for her even though I was sort of hurting inside. I didn't know what it was about that kiss Jack placed on my lips that made me think twice about being with Alex. It was crazy but for some reason, I think that I might've used Alex as a boy toy – which is the worst thing I could ever do to anyone. I felt so disgusted but there really wasn't much I could do. The damage was done and I couldn't take back my actions. If I could do it all again, I would but what good would it do? I just wish this whole shenanigan won't sabotage me in the long run because if it will, then I will be totally fucked.

Cassadee and Rian took off after I told them that they should have their time together. I didn't want to be the third wheel so I decided to walk around alone. I watched as the roller coasters went up and down in loops. I wanted to ride one so bad but I didn't have anyone to ride it with. So, I went out to look for Alex. I wanted to set things straight by actually being with him. It's not like I'm forcing myself to like him since he's smokin' hot in all ways possible but I just feel awful for thinking of him as something less than a potential boyfriend.

"Hey, I've been looking all over for you." I turned around to see Jack standing behind me with his hands in his pockets. He smiled a little before returning to the nervous face he showed up with.

I bit my lip and sucked in a big breath as I smiled back. "Look, I know I should've told you but-"

"No, it's fine. You don't have to explain anything to me," he said, putting his hands up as if he was under arrest. "I'm just glad you're happy."

But am I happy? Do I deserve to be happy? Honestly, I think 'happy' is not the right word for me. I'm more satisfied than happy, really.

I smiled as I looked away from those charming eyes. I can't believe my feelings for him vanished at one point. I mean I knew it was always there but why was it hiding from me? I mean sure, I was afraid to get hurt but isn't that a big part of life? We take on challenges to make us stronger and it doesn't matter if we take a might step up or a drastic fall. All that matters is that we're doing what's right. But frankly, I'm standing on the wrong 'X' mark right here. I guess it's okay to socialize but I never get just that with Jack. It's always either flirt or get hurt with him. I didn't want that anymore.

"Jack, are you and Alex still on bad terms?" I asked, looking deeply into his eyes. I didn't want him to lie to me. But even if he did tell the truth, what was I going to do with it?

"Honestly, yeah, we are on bad terms. In fact, we had a verbal banter before we left the bus. But I'm sure it'll blow over though," he said confidently. I was glad he thought optimistically but was it actually doable in real life?

"I really hate that I got between you two. I never meant for it to happen like this. I mean I just thought that you were over me and-"

"It's fine, really. I mean I had my chance with you and I blew it. But to tell you the truth, I haven't moved on. I just hope you know that I'll always be here waiting for you," he whispered even though no one would really care about our conversation.

But I was wrong. Alex showed up a few seconds later with a realistic smile on his face. He apologized to Jack which was awkward and straightforward but at least he made an effort. Alex then asked Jack if he could steal me away. Jack really had no other choice so he nodded and walked away with a clearer conscience, I'm hoping.

"You seem…happier," I said, doubting that smile on his face. It's not that I didn't want him to be happy but I didn't think he'd spring back so fast.

"Nah, I just thought about the whole thing for a while and I realized that it was wrong to stay mad at my best friend for that reason. He didn't really know that we were actually together so it wasn't his fault," he said, taking my hand and swaying it back and forth.

"Well I'm glad you got things sorted out with Jack. I didn't like the feeling of getting in between you two," I told him as we lined up for the Ferris wheel instead of that roller coaster I wanted to ride. I don't think my stomach was up for the extreme speed and maneuvers after what Jack had told me. My heart only got heavier and my conscience, guiltier. It'd take a really big whim to get everything right back into place and I'm not even certain that I'd get it right.

"I'm glad I got it all out of my system too," he agreed as he tilted my chin upwards and kissed me deeply.

It was an ordinary kiss but something was totally different about the way he tasted. I thought I tasted strawberry lip gloss but there were food stalls around and cotton candy machines so maybe he went and grabbed a bite to eat? Well, I hope that's what he did.


	16. Chapter 16

**JACK**

I was too in over my head. I never should've told her that I haven't moved on. It would only make the chances of actually winning her back less than zero. I mean I don't think she'd toss Alex to the side that easy. She must think that I'm just some desperate guy with no other purpose in life but to wait for her. But the worst thing is that it actually took me this long to figure out that we really weren't meant to be together. If we really were, we'd be happy with each other but she didn't want me. She wanted Alex.

It was finally eight in the evening. We've been back on the bus for about an hour and a half now. The whole time we had dinner at one of the restaurants in Disneyland, Brittany and I have been exchanging looks but I didn't put on that sad, mopey face I had earlier today. I put on a bright smile, showing her that I was about ready to leave the road that led straight to her heart. It was about time that I took a U-turn and drove to the freeway. I haven't been myself for so long and it's killing me inside. Where was the fun-loving, carefree, wild and crazy Jack that everyone loved? I don't know about everyone else but I totally miss him. I don't mean to sound so full of myself but it's the truth.

Everyone was piled up in the living room. Jess, Brian and Stephen from The Summer Set along with Cassadee and Alex Lipshaw from Hey Monday rode on our bus on the way to the hotel we were supposed to be at soon. They decided that a few shots would probably be the best way to start the night. I had no reason to decline so I jumped in.

"One, two, three!" Rian counted and we downed our tequila shots.

"We are going to be so fucked up tomorrow," Brian mentioned, causing laughter to erupt inside the tight living room we all had.

"At least we're sleeping in a hotel tonight," Lipshaw said, sucking on a lemon wedge.

"Who says you're sleeping on a bed?" Cassadee asked, scooting over next to Rian. It was sort of weird that they were together. I mean who would've ever guessed that they'd end up together?

"I call dibs on mine," I interjected, causing commotion inside the bus.

Everyone started to call dibs on beds. Flyzik was laughing his ass off. That only sparked our curiosity.

"We are getting a lot of rooms with beds, right, Flyzik?" Stephen asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Don't worry! Courtney knows a guy who knows the manager of the hotel we're staying at and he's giving rooms for free. The only problem is that we don't how many rooms he's willing to offer but I'm sure it'll be enough to shelter all of us," Flyzik explained to everyone, shooting bullets of relief to the worried faces all around.

The game went on for about three more rounds. After that, we turned on the radio and blasted some dance-y tunes and jumped like crazy on the bus. I made my way over to the table to get one more booster. I really wanted to lose it all tonight and I wasn't doing that while I was conscious. I wanted to have fun but if ever I did something stupid, I wanted to forget it all. Tequila's known for making you forget everything once you black out so I should probably drink up, right?

We were just fooling around until the bus stopped and everyone unloaded. They all had a head start. I was taking my time in the bathroom doing my business. I couldn't really hold my pee anymore so I really had to go. When I went out though, nobody was on the bus. I was about to leave with my backpack as well but I heard a phone ring from the living room. I walked towards the phone and recognized it as Alex's. I looked into the caller ID to see who might've been calling at about 10 in the evening.

It was this girl named Candy and there was a picture of them lip-locking in the background. Something in me got a little ticked off so I answered her call.

"Hey baby! How long are you staying in California?" she asked a little too annoyingly.

"I don't know, why?" I asked rather curiously.

"Did you forget already? You were such a naughty boy inside the 'Candy Factory'," she laughed in a high pitched tone.

Shock washed over me. It was weird that I still thought with a clear head. But then again, the tequila was like 90% water. Flyzik told me that he filled it with water since he didn't want us to get too drunk. We had a show tomorrow and hangovers make us all groggy and cranky.

"Wait, that was today?" I said, trying to sound stupid. I had to clarify this one way or another.

"Of course, you silly boy," she said with a smirk, "You told me you'd come back but you never did."

I didn't want to talk anymore so I just hung up on her. I turned around and saw Alex staring at me with half guilty and half angry eyes. I didn't know how he controlled his emotions like that but right now I didn't care.

"What the fuck is this, man?" I asked, walking towards him.

"It's called a phone," he replied sarcastically.

"You're playing her, you asshole," I said, getting a little heated up.

"Well, I don't see how that's a problem seeing as you did that as well."

"Oh, so we're playing follow the leader now?"

I dropped my backpack on the floor and moved even closer to him. I didn't care if anyone saw us like this right now. I hated the fact that he'd actually go ahead and hurt Brittany like she just some girl.

"Dude, calm your tits. She'll never find out," he said confidently. I wanted to punch him badly but I knew better than to jeopardize our career based on personal issues. I knew that if he ended up with a black eye, people would ask questions. We had a show tomorrow so there's definitely no time for him to heal it before he gets on a stage.

"Do you know who you're talking to?"

"The guy that managed to break a girl's heart because he wanted to go to Disneyland so bad?" he asked in a sarcastic tone, "Yeah, I think I do."

"You really don't want to start with that," I said, shoving him backwards.

"Really?" he smirked, "Last time I checked, you were the selfish prick. Not me."

I let that shoot out both my ears. I didn't need words to spark up a full-on rumble. Not tonight when everything was supposed to be all fun.

"But why hurt Brittany? You know about her past and how fragile she is," I scolded like I had some kind of authority over him.

"I guess I never really thought about it like that," he said, snatching his phone away from me.

I'm not sure if he was being sincere or if he was actually stupid. I just can't believe he'd do shit like this. I never thought he'd make sure he'd go through extreme measures just to hurt girls. What an ass.


	17. Chapter 17

Brittany

I got to share my room with Alex. Matt offered me a different room where I was completely isolated but I told him that they I had no problem with having a roommate. I thought they'd pair me up with either Jess or Cassadee but they both shared a room with other guys. Alex jumped in and asked me to room with him tonight and frankly, I don't think I had a problem with that. But maybe the relationship was going pretty fast. I didn't like the pace we were in. It seemed rushed – like someone was actually tailgating Alex so that he'd jump out of the relationship already. I wasn't one to complain though. And besides, how was I supposed to explain how I felt? Wouldn't it be awfully rude if I told Alex to slow down? I didn't really know everything about him and I didn't want to take chances. He actually liked me and people like him are hard to find these days. He wanted an actual relationship and I was so down for that.

I arrived at the sixth floor with Zack, Matt and Vinny. Jack and Alex were nowhere to be found. I saw Alex head out the bus but after having conversations with people, I lost track of him. I'm sure they'd head up soon though. They were probably just talking or something.

Zack and Matt shared one room while Vinny and Jack shared another. Rian got a room with Cassadee and they were stationed on the fifth floor along with the rest of Hey Monday and The Summer Set. For now, I was pretty much alone so once I placed my stuff inside my room with Alex, I knocked on Zack's and Matt's door and asked if I could stay there for a while.

"Please, come in," Matt welcomed, opening the door a little wider so I could enter.

The room I had and the room I was in was pretty much the same. Two beds, plasma screen television, mini-refrigerator, a desk, a sofa chair and a balcony that has an overview of the whole city. I sat on the sofa chair Indian-style and watched Zack do push-ups on the floor.

"Wow, you really are body conscious," I said without much emotion.

Honestly, I was pretty sleepy but I didn't want to sleep alone. I didn't really feel entirely safe.

"I wouldn't really call it being 'body conscious'," he said, "I guess I just really like the exercise."

"Or, you're just that infatuated with your muscular build that you wouldn't stand to lose it," Matt interjected, crashing down on his bed. "This is the life," he sighed happily.

"Hence, the exercise Mr. Smarty-pants," Zack mentioned, turning on his back so he was facing the ceiling.

He started to do body crunches and sweat started pouring down his face. I handed him a bathroom towel from the bathroom but the moment I went out, I heard a thud coming from outside. I opened the hotel room door and saw Alex sitting on the floor in front of our room – which was right across the room I was in.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as I crouched down right in front of him.

"Oh, hey," he said, sounding surprised. "I thought I got locked out."

"That's why you're all mopey like that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as I took his hand and picked him up, off the ground.

"I guess…?" He was acting weird and that worried me.

"Well, let me hand this towel to Zack and I'll be right back," I told him, handing him the keys so he could settle himself inside. Maybe he was tired. It was a pretty long day.

I went back into Zack's and Matt's room and saw that Matt had fallen asleep in the same position. Zack was downing a bottle of water shirtless. I _almost_ drooled but luckily, I had enough self-control to regain composure. I got it together and handed him the towel to wipe himself with.

"Thanks," he said, crunching the bottle with his fist and shooting it in the trash bin by the desk.

"Sure," I replied, a little smitten. "I have to head to the other room though. Alex is back."

"Oh," he said, sounding a little disappointed. "Good night."

I smiled sheepishly at him before heading out of the door.

_Well that was awkward, _I thought to myself. Why was everyone acting so weird around me lately?

When I got inside my room, I saw Alex in the balcony just staring out into the view. I slid the door that divided the room from the balcony to the side and made my way next to Alex who seemed really down. I touched his hand which he almost jerked away.

"Shit, you scared me," he said, startled.

"You seem…jumpy," I smiled as I tried to reach for it again. This time he laced his fingers with mine and pulled me into a hug.

I placed my head on his chest and breathed in the moment. I pulled away a few inches to kiss him. At first, he kind of didn't want to but then he did it anyway. Why was he so awkward all of a sudden? Was it because of me? Was it something Jack had told him? I couldn't help but wonder. I didn't exactly voice it out since I wanted him to tell me himself. All I needed was a little patience and I'd be fine.

"I'm going to change. You should stay inside or you'll catch a cold," I said, kissing him on the cheek. He smiled a little and then frowned again.

I was about to hop back inside the room when suddenly, he grabbed my wrist and asked me to wait.

"I have something to tell you," he said with a pinch of guilt in his tone. I didn't like the sound of this. The mere tone of his voice got me nervous. Was he breaking up with me already?

"What is it?" I asked eagerly. I looked him in the eye and prodded him on.

"I-I can't do this…" he trailed off.

"Why? Did I do something wrong? You can tell me, you know," I rambled. That happens when I'm shocked, nervous, worried and scared. Right now, those few adjectives were hardly what I'd call the way I felt. It was indescribable, really. I couldn't find the right negative adjective that would truly fit my feelings.

"As cliché as this might sound, it really isn't you. It's me," he mentioned, scratching his head. "While I was in the bus with Jack, he sort of put some sense into me. I didn't really realize what I was doing until he found out and shoved it in my face. I'm really sorry, Brittany. But I'm afraid that there is no way that this will be able to work."

"What are you saying?" I didn't realize that my tone was pretty pissed until I heard it. I didn't mean to sound angry at all.

"U-um, I'm saying that it was a mistake for me to ask you to be mine in the first place," he stuttered.

"This isn't some kind of joke, is it?" I asked half-rhetorically.

I watched his shake his head from left to right with a heavy-hearted sigh. He looked pretty bummed out about this and I didn't even know why. But did I want to know? Now that was the real question.

I sighed heavily before turning on my heel. I really didn't have anything to say to him. I wanted to get some alone time but seeing as he got the balcony, I actually had to head outside. He didn't try to stop me which was a typical guy thing but I just hoped that he wasn't like the rest. Sadly though, he was.

I made my way down the hall to where the elevators were. I didn't really feel like going down so I just sat on the waiting chairs. Not a minute too soon, the elevator dinged and someone came out on our floor. It was Jack.

Normally, I'd vent out to him but I have a big gut-feeling that this was all his fault. He broke us apart because he was a selfish jerk who wanted everything for himself. When has he ever thought of what others might feel?

I got up and walked over to him. He was pretty surprised when he saw me just sitting there. He was about to say something when I was right in his face but I didn't let him. I just slapped him hard across the face hoping that that would put some sense in him.


	18. Chapter 18

"I can't believe you'd go this far to hurt me, Jack." Tears started pouring like rain but I wanted to hold them back badly. I didn't like crying in front of people. It made me feel weak. Right now, that's hardly what I want to feel. I wanted to be the strong one – the winner in this argument. But my emotions thought otherwise. Maybe it was fine to show a little weakness to get the point across but I'm beginning to think that maybe my tears are a way of showing my strength.

"What in the world are you talking about?" he exclaimed a little too loudly, as he rubbed the cheek that I bitch-slapped.

I might've slapped him a little too harshly but I couldn't say that he didn't deserve it. He deserved every ounce of pain that I shot through his body.

"Don't try and act like you don't know what's going on! _You_ did this! _You_ made him break up with me and you're just gonna stand there and pretend like it's nothing?" I breathed in heavily, "This, by far, is the most pathetic thing I think you've ever done."

He stopped and stared at me with wide eyes. I didn't know if they held pain or anger. I wasn't in the mood to really care about his feelings since he barely cared for mine. I don't even know why I try to put up with him.

All of a sudden, he started to compose himself. He breathed out harshly as if he were annoyed by me. I wanted to lash out at him completely but I was more rational than that. I wanted to hear an explanation from him to see if he was worth my time or not because right now, heading home sounds like such a good idea. I mean hey, it's only been a week. I could probably go for some extracurricular or something.

"Listen, I didn't ask him to break up with you," he mentioned sternly. I lifted an eyebrow in disbelief and I crossed my arms over my chest. "He really isn't the guy for you-"

"Oh, and you are?" I blurted out, "What kind of a selfish jerk would do this to his friend?"

"I'm trying to protect you from getting hurt! Why can't you see that?" Jack started to get kinda upset with me and I wasn't taking his attitude lightly. Maybe another slap on the cheek would get him to think straight.

"Maybe because I'm already hurt, Jack!" I exclaimed in the same tone. "I thought he and I had something that you and I could never have but you broke us apart before anything ever happened! I really cannot believe that you could rip him away from me like a fucking band-aid! And what's worse is that you don't even care!"

He gnashed his teeth furiously as he tried to stay calm. I hadn't noticed that I was yelling until I saw a bunch of people get out of their rooms. Once they saw the two of us heated up, they made their way back inside their doors, giving us the privacy we needed.

Jack sighed heavily as he looked from left to right. I was about to walk away when he began to speak. "It's good that nothing ever happened between you two because he doesn't care about you like I do."

"And it all just comes down to you, doesn't it? Who the hell are you to speak for him like that? Are you like his spokesperson or something? Let him speak for himself! You can't brainwash him into doing what _you_ what him to do!" I couldn't believe how angry I was. It's surprising, really.

I walked away from him by heading back to the room I shared with Alex. I know that it was going to be awkward but I didn't care. All I wanted was to get away from Jack and whatever he was going to lie to me about.

"You have got to be kidding me," he whined. I stopped and turned to look at him. He was shaking his head as if everything about me was wrong.

"Tell me Jack, what do you think I'm joking about? Do you think I like to joke around like this and-"

"He fucking cheated on you, okay?" he exclaimed loudly so that everyone on this whole floor could hear.

My mouth dropped open but I was quick enough to shut it. I looked at him and saw truth in his eyes but I couldn't believe him. It seemed impossible, in a way.

"You're lying," I muttered as another batch of tears soaked my cheeks.

I ran back to the room which I left open and closed the door slowly so it wouldn't make a sound. Alex was sound asleep and I didn't want to have to wake him. I knew that what I was going to do next was totally reckless and spontaneous but I had to get out now before it was too late. I'm glad it's still early in the tour because it wouldn't be hard to actually say goodbye to anyone. But in this case, I don't think I'll need to say goodbye at all.

I grabbed my bag from the floor and left the key on Alex's bedside table. I walked to the small entryway that led to the door and opened it slowly so I could sneak out. But once I opened the door widely, I shrieked just a little to see a shirtless Zack right in front of me.

I closed the door behind me and was about to make a run for it but he stopped me by pulling on my bag. Knapsacks are a bad choice for sneaky getaways.

"Where do you think you're going?" Zack asked in a whisper.

"Why are you still awake?" I countered.

"I asked first." He twisted me around so I was facing him. I didn't look into his eyes though since I hate it when people see me cry.

"I'm going home, Zack. This whole thing is too overwhelming for me. I thought I could handle it but I was wrong. It's just too much," I rambled as I sobbed. He wrapped me up in a hug and tried to comfort me but my thoughts wouldn't let me settle down.

"You can't just head home," he said, rubbing beneath my knapsack. "Sleep on it and it'll be fine in the morning."

"I can't just sleep-"

"You're tired; it's been a long day. Take my bed and I'll sleep on the ground," he offered.

"I can't," I told him as I hid myself in his bare chest. He smelled so good. You could tell by the way his hair was all ruffled that he just got out of the shower.

"You can, and you will."

He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me towards the room he shared with Flyzik. I wanted to slip out of his grip and make my escape but I was too tired to make a run for it. I felt like I was going to pass out sometime soon so running is definitely not an option.

Flyzik was oblivious to the world. Luckily, they had two separate beds. I didn't want to end up sleeping next to Matt. It's not like I don't like him. It's just that it felt sorta weird.

"I'll sleep on the floor," I tried to say but Zack wasn't listening. He set my bag on the desk where his bag was and grabbed a comforter and a pillow from one of the cabinets. He laid it on the floor and was set to sleep.

"If you try to escape while I sleep, I will hunt you down," he mentioned before turning to his side.

He didn't have a blanket to cover himself with so I made a quick run to the cabinet and grabbed a thin sheet for him. I opened it up and placed it over him. I bit on my lip guiltily as I took his bed and laid on it. But I guess he was right. I could live another day if I slept on it. Besides, where would I go if I did run away?


	19. Chapter 19

I could hardly open my eyes the next morning. They were so sore from all the tears shed last night. I saw Zack closing the blinds a little, hoping that that would aid my eyes; but, I don't think anything would be able to help.

I yawned before getting up to use the toilet. Flyzik was nowhere to be found. I guess he was up the minute the sun started shining outside. For some reason, I actually envied him for having a good night's sleep. When I saw him on his bed last night, it seemed like nothing could ever ruin his slumber. I wouldn't say it was as if he was in some kind of coma; although, something less than that would probably do.

Once I washed my face with cold water from the sink and did my business in the bathroom, I wiped my face with a towel and walked towards the bed Zack made me sleep in.

"You must be hungry," Zack mentioned, handing me a sandwich as soon as I sat myself down.

"Thanks," I said, taking it. "But I wouldn't want to deprive you of anything. Have you eaten already?"

"Don't worry about it," he told me. "Just make sure that it doesn't go to waste."

I always wondered why he was always so kind to me. I mean he did tell me that he liked me once but I assume that we were past that already. I mean it's been a long time since and I'm guessing he's been out with a few other girls already. I wouldn't be surprised though. I mean what kind of girl would pass up an opportunity like him? Well maybe calling an opportunity would be sorta shallow but can you blame me?

His phone rang all of a sudden and he smiled a little when he saw the caller's name. I marvelled at that as he slid outside the balcony to get some privacy. I didn't want to listen in so I just ate and watched TV.

I glanced at him several times but I couldn't really get much since he was facing the other way. One thing was for sure though: he was happy. I could read his body language like words written on paper. At least he knows what it feels like to be truly happy. I'd trade that for anything right now; I'm that desperate.

It took him about half an hour to talk to that one person on the phone. Flyzik came back in about ten minutes ago. Zack didn't come back inside though. He just stayed out there, smiling at the world.

"What's up with him?" I asked Flyzik who looked a little stressed out.

"It must be Katie," he answered, taking the remote away from me.

"Hey! I was watching!" I tried to wrestle for the remote but then an unexpected visitor came into our room.

I fell right on top of Matt in a very awkward position. Jack stared at us like we were both naked. I got up quickly and composed myself. I looked back at the TV and stared at it, pretending like he wasn't there.

"I need to talk to you," he said sternly.

I twisted my head slowly to look at him. I didn't want to be anywhere near him right now. "So we can World War III? Are you sure you wanna talk?"

"I'm not looking for a fight. I just need you to come with me," he said, sighing. He seemed tired. He looked tired – like he didn't get any sleep at all last night.

Suddenly, Zack came back in the room wearing a worried look. "What's happening?"

I looked at him once and gave him a small smile. Then, I looked at Matt who motioned for me to get up and go with Jack. I bit my lips as I got up and patted him on the shoulder as I passed him by. I just hope he was right about agreeing to this because I surely am not welcoming any mistakes anymore.

He brought me to the room across – where Alex slept last night. Apparently, they shared the room. The room was pretty messy. Clothes were strewn around. It's weird because we've only been here one night and they made it look like they've stayed in there for an eternity.

"We're here to settle this, okay?" Jack told me as he sat me down on the bed.

Alex came in from the bathroom. They both looked like crap. What were they doing all night? Did they actually argue about the whole situation or was it about something entirely different?

"Whatever Jack told you was true. I don't know why I didn't have the balls to say it to you straight but I'm confirming it now. I did cheat on you and that's why I think this whole relationship with won't work."

My God, it sounded so scripted. Was this why they didn't sleep all night? So they can make a script and list the pros and cons of this situation. I wanted to bump their heads really hard against each other and run away but I couldn't bring myself to get up.

"Okay," was all I said – nothing more, nothing less. Actually, I really couldn't care less about what else they might have planned. So everything's cleared up, good for them; but, one thing they can't fix is the underlying pain I feel because of all this. I can't believe they're so calm about this. It's like they planned it from the very start.

"That's it?" Alex asked, feeling a little surprised.

"What more did you expect me to say?" I raised an eyebrow as I watched them look at each other and then back at me.

We all just stayed silent for a while. I avoided their eyes and searched around the room. Jack sighed before moving out the door. I guess he expected me to stop him because he was moving slower with every step. I made it a point to look away because I knew he'd turn back. He always does.

I mean he broke up with me. I wanted to be with him but he went away. He told me that I was nothing but a bet. Then he came to New York and ruined my progress of actually moving on. Now, he's hurt me again. I don't even know why I want to dwell in his life anymore. Little by little, it all starts to slip away. I don't think he knows where he's going with anything he has planned. That's always been the problem with him – he doesn't think.

I swallowed hard as I watched Alex sit beside me. I knew he was going to try and tell me that I was better off with Jack but I knew better than to listen to Alex. It's like every word he speaks is fabricated and it didn't take me this long to figure that out. I've always thought Alex was sketchy ever since I met him. It was like there was always something hidden behind everything he talked about – like maybe he spoke in a language of riddles all the time. I don't even know what drew me to him. All I do know is that he was the reason why Jack and I broke apart.

But as I look at the whole thing, I realize that it's been a battle of wits between them and I was their main prize. Out of all the people in the world, they chose to make me their prize. I'd ask why but the answer wasn't likely to spring out anywhere so why bother?

I got up from the bed and walked out the door without a word. Alex didn't stop me so I didn't turn back. I went to find Jack. I knew he's been under a lot of pressure and it's not good on him. Maybe if I lift a portion of it from his shoulders, he'd start playing better in shows. I didn't want to be the downfall of the band so I guess making things a little easier for everyone wasn't going to hurt.

I met him near the elevators once again, hoping this wouldn't turn into some kind of sick déjà vu. I wasn't in for another bitch fit. I wanted to make things right. Even though I wasn't the one at fault here, I had to make a move. He wouldn't be able to fix anything on his own. I would know. I've seen him try and fail miserably.

Jack got in the elevator and I ran inside just in time. I pressed the emergency stop and looked into his eyes.

"I'm sorry about everything. I never thought it would hurt you at all and-"

I pressed my finger to his lips and traced the outline slowly. I bit my lip as I drew a sharp breath. He was just as confused as I was about this. I didn't know what I wanted and he didn't really seem to get that.

"I know what you're trying to do and I'm sorry for making this really hard for you. It's just that sometimes, I wish you'd think twice before doing something even if it's the right thing to do. You can just jump in head first all the time." I took my finger away from his lips but he didn't allow my hand to get that far away from him. He recaptured it with his own hand and kept it there.

I looked at our intertwined fingers before looking straight at him. He kept his eyes on my lips. It made my heart flutter. I could feel my soul slowly detaching from my body but I had to hold it together.

"But should I think twice about doing this?" he asked before crashing his lips with mine.

I smiled into the kiss. I was so glad to have him back with me but was it the best decision I've made so far? It doesn't always hurt to jump in headfirst, right?


	20. Chapter 20

Things have never been better.

A few weeks after Jack and I fixed things, everything went by in a blissful manner – almost as if my fairy godmother granted me a happily ever after. The best thing about being happy right now is that I'm not alone in it. Everyone's pretty happy for both Jack and I – even Alex. It seems like everything that happened a few weeks ago never really unfolded. If you watched us intently, you'd probably think that we'd never had a problem – ever.

Last night was the same as every other. Jack and I were on the bus spending the night together while the others went out to party and stuff. We weren't really the type of couple that wanted to socialize. I mean being bus-bound everyday can deprive you of the privacy that you tend to yearn for.

The next morning, I was awakened by really loud and noisy human alarms. Two people were running up and down the bus's hallway screaming like raging animals that probably just got out of their cages. I would've been totally fine with it but I had this really bad headache and for some reason, I felt really nauseous.

I peeked out of my bunk and saw that Jack and Alex were the ones making all the racket while Rian was videotaping it on his iPhone. I swear, I would've been totally okay with this if I didn't feel so out of it.

I walked out of my bunk and moved into the bathroom. All I thought I was gonna do was pee but once I was through with that, I hunched down the toilet and started hurling.

The noise outside stopped almost immediately as I poured out an empty stomach into the toilet bowl. Someone was twisting the locked doorknob but I wasn't about to let anyone in. The bathroom smelled stinky and it looked pretty ugly. I coughed out a little more before I flushed the toilet. But the toilet wasn't the only thing getting flushed. My face was pretty much the same. I brushed my teeth to take away the stink. Then, I opened the door and had Jack almost falling on top of me. Apparently, he'd been leaning on it.

"You okay?" he asked me with the most worried look I've ever seen him put on since a few weeks ago.

"U-uh, yeah," I said, clearing my throat.

I moved past him and tried to avoid him or anyone for that matter. I had a few assumptions about why what occurred happened. There were a lot of thoughts running around my head, but there was this one big idea that I'd thought about that seemed to fit the whole situation perfectly. Thing is, I really don't want it to be the underlying reason because I really wouldn't know what to do if I really did end up pregnant.

There was no way that Jack and I could afford to raise a baby during this state in our lives. I don't even know if he likes babies. Then again, I shouldn't be over-analyzing these things. They never do me any good.

I walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. I drank it quickly and tried not to get affected by the eager eyes staring at me, begging for an explanation. Jack cleared his throat and they all looked away. He grabbed me by the waist and kissed my forehead. He pulled me into a hug and made sure that I was comfortable. Believe me, I wanted to feel what he wanted me to but I couldn't. I was worried, scared and anxious. But on top of that, I felt really sick.

I looked up at him and realized that he didn't have a smile on his face anymore. I felt bad for taking that away from his face but telling him what's really on my mind would only break him apart and I don't want that. I'm not proud but I've been through that and I don't plan on experiencing it again.

"Tell me what's wrong," Jack pushed.

I know he was worried and all but it annoyed me how he wanted me to spill the beans like this. I mean I'll tell him when I can. He can't just force it out of me.

"I wanna go back to sleep. Would it be okay if you guys quiet down a bit?" I asked as nicely as I could. But even if I wanted to make it sound nice and all, it still had a bit of an edge to it.

"Before you go, just wanted to remind you that we're headed home tomorrow," he said, slipping his hand into mine.

I turned to look at him in awe. Has it already been that long? I watched him intently before I wrapped my arms around him. I didn't want to have to leave him just yet.

"Can you come home with me?" he asked ever so sweetly.

I smiled at his question and thought about it. I still had about a month of summer left before school started again in the fall. Thing is, I didn't really want to go back to my house. Especially not when I think I'm pregnant. My mother would smell the scent of guilt a mile away.

Then again, I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Jack. Who knew when we'd see each other again?

"Okay." I smiled as I kissed his lips.

He smiled into the kiss and lit up my world. The others hooted from the mini living room. We broke apart a few seconds later and I turned to face them.

"Matt, there never really was an internship to begin with, was there?" I said, remembering why I actually looked forward to this summer. I can't believe I totally forgot about interning. I guess being with these guys can make you feel reckless and carefree.

"Sorry Brit, I had to shed a white lie," he said with a smile.

I squinted my eyes at him and he held his hands up in surrender. I chuckled and noticed that my tiredness and queasiness started to vanish. Maybe a little water was all I needed.

I walked over to where they all were and sat in between Rian and Zack on the couch. It'll probably be a long while until I see these douchebags again. I really don't want to have to say farewell but it's inevitable.

"I'm gonna miss you guys," I said, leaning my head on Zack's shoulder.

They all smiled and hovered over me as they squeezed me – one by one – in their arms. Well, it wasn't like I was never going to see them again after today but I probably won't be able to go on the next tour due to classes and stuff. We all shed a few favorite moments from the tour to pass the time.

We were on our way to Baltimore for their last show. I was pretty excited to be back home but I was also pretty scared since I'd have to see my mother again. Not that I think my mother is a monster, but I think it's probably best for me to just stay away. We didn't exactly end up in good terms once she came back from Grandma's and saw the note I left for her. She wasn't as thrilled as I was.

"Remember that time when Brit sprained her knee after beating two chicks to the ground? I still find that freaking hilarious!" said Vinny. I rolled my eyes at him as I remembered exactly what happened.

"How exactly did you learn how to fight like that?" Zack asked me.

I lifted my head off his shoulder and smirked at him. "We don't all need muscles to beat people up, just so you know."

"I take offense in that," Zack said as everyone laughed.

We all just shared a few laughs before the bus stopped at the venue. I grabbed my camera before going down and went over to the other buses to get final pictures.

"D'awwww, I'm gonna miss you, bud!" Jess Bowen of The Summer Set said as soon as Stephen took our picture.

Apparently, Jess and I had so many things in common. I spent some time with The Summer Set a few weeks back and had loads of fun and laughter. They were like the best friends I never had and I was so fortunate to have met them.

Once I gave them my pre-goodbye speech, I went over to Hey Monday's tent and found Cassadee alone doing all the merch work.

I was about to hop over the counter when I started to feel queasy all over again.

"Are you okay, Brit? You don't look especially well today," she told me with a worried look on her face.

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

And with that, she dragged me towards the empty Hey Monday bus and led me to their comfort room. She held my hair as I puked my guts out in their toilet. I felt really bad for doing this but I couldn't help it. Besides, she was the one who dragged me in here anyway.

"What is happening to me?" I muttered as I flushed the toilet.

I moved to the sink and washed my face. Apparently, Cassadee vanished and gave me a little privacy so I can fix myself up. Well it's that or she thought I was totally gross and thought that it was best that she stayed away from me.

But before I could make up my mind, she showed up with a box that held a stick that I thought I'd never have to use at this point in time. She bit her lip as she handed me a pregnancy test.

"What date is today?" I asked her anxiously.

"It's 27 today," she whispered.

"Shit, I'm late."

I stared at the box before looking up at Cassadee. She told me that she'd give me some privacy and went away. I can't believe that this was really happening. I read the instructions on the box and followed them immediately. Luckily, I really wanted to pee. I didn't want to have to prolong the agony as much. I looked up after I hit the stick with urine, hoping for the best.

One minute seemed to last forever but after I counted to sixty, I breathed in heavily and looked down slowly.

"What does it say?" Cassadee asked nervously through the closed bathroom door.

"It's positive."


	21. Chapter 21

I broke down in tears as soon as the words fell from my mouth. Cassadee got down beside me and tried to shush me but my hormones were on overdrive and kept the tears pouring from my eyes.

"What am I gonna tell him?" I said as I sniffled and wiped away stray tears from my eyes. "He and I never talked about babies or starting a family! Who knows when we'll have another blowout due to something stupid? I am so screwed, Cassadee."

"Hey, I want none of that. Jack will father that baby whether he wants to or not—"

"I can't force him to do something he doesn't wanna do. I don't want to be the one who holds him back," I said sullenly as I placed a hand on my stomach, wondering how long I've been pregnant.

Cassadee seemed to be out of words. I swallowed hard before getting up. I had to plan things out for myself. I couldn't wait around for things to happen.

"When are you telling him?" Cassadee asked, watching me intently.

"I don't think I will."

I refused to keep eye contact with her for fear that she might try to make me feel guilty and force me to tell Jack everything. However, she didn't say a word. She just shook her head and gave me a small smile, leaving me to figure things out for myself.

"Oh, and don't tell anyone," I told her.

She gave out a small laugh before heading out the bus.

I bit my lip as I grabbed tissue paper and wrapped the stick in it. I placed inside my pocket and washed my hands with soap so that I could feel clean again. But somehow, clean was the last thing I could feel right now. I knew I was in deep shit and that I couldn't get out of it no matter how hard I tried and yet, I stepped off Hey Monday's bus with the best pokerface I could put on and tried to show the world that nothing was wrong with me.

I was on the verge of wanting to pack up and leave but if I did, I wouldn't exactly be able to get anywhere far since Jack was headed home tomorrow too. He knows all my hiding places and I couldn't bear another day without him even if I tried. But just as I cleared my head and turned a corner, I saw Cassadee and Jack talking privately outside the All Time Low merch tent. This caught my attention. It got even worse when Jack looked straight at me with broken expressions as soon as Cassadee whispered things into his ear.

I couldn't breathe. Everything around me silenced and the only begrudging noise I heard was the sound of his footsteps as he walked over to me. Tears managed to spring out of my eyes before he was a step away from me.

"Jack, I'm so sorry," I said in a harsh whisper as uneasy feelings wrapped my emotions in a box and stowed them away on its own island.

"For being sick? Why would you apologize for something like that? If you think that being sick will hinder me from kissing you, you're dead wrong." He leaned down and planted a big kiss on my lips but I hardly responded. It was as if I froze in time.

I looked at him with this weird expression that even I couldn't comprehend but all Jack did was pull me into a hug. I breathed out harshly before I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

It hasn't been an hour and the guilt has already circulated around my body at least a thousand times.

After the show that night, we were all headed home. Alex and Rian got sent home first. Zack took a flight back to LA with Matt and Evan so it was just Jack and I on the bus. Cassadee had texted me twice about telling him the truth. I might have exploded a little via text as I replied to her first message but I knew that she was right. I had to tell Jack the truth but I couldn't find the right time – yet.

It wasn't until the bus stopped right in front of Jack's house that my heart started to beat really fast. I masked my nervousness with a smile and walked off the bus carrying all my stuff.

I went over to my house first to see if anyone was home but there were no cars in the garage. I grabbed the extra key set hidden inside a jar right beside the door and shrieked a little when I felt cobwebs touch my skin. I looked to the side and saw that Jack was looking at me from his porch with longing eyes. I sighed as I grabbed the key from below the jar and opened the door.

The whole place was pretty much covered in dust which meant that no one had been here for a while. I switched on the lights and saw that there was a note for me on the kitchen counter. Man, was this getting all too familiar. I unfolded the note and read its contents:

_Dearest Brittany, _

_ Your grandmother has been really sick for a while now and needs daily supervision. If ever you come home and don't find either me or Stephen, just know that we're here in Arizona and that you're welcome to come here anytime. One visit would probably suffice. _

_ I left cash in your room just in case you're short on anything. _

_ I love you._

_Love,_

_Mom_

I stumbled back a bit as I felt nauseous once again. I ran upstairs into my room and blasted in the toilet. I really was not up to the whole routine of having to wake up in the middle of the night to throw up or whatever. My head pounded as I hurled and I swear, nothing in life ever hurt as bad as this, ever.

I flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth with some mouthwash that I had. I really had to tell Jack. I told myself that no matter what happens, I will take it as it is. If he decides that he doesn't want to father this child, I will swallow hard and carry on. It's my fault we're in this situation anyway. I'm the one with the ovaries.

I walked down the stairs and turned all the lights off. I locked the door and placed the key back inside the jar. My bags were already in Jack's house for some reason. I guess he must've perceived that I was staying over.

I sucked in a huge breath and walked over to his porch. I knocked once but it was as if he knew I was coming. The door opened and without another second wasted, I told him what he needed to know.

"Jack, I'm pregnant."

My confidence shattered after I blurted the words out. I swear if he asked me to repeat what I had just said, I would've smacked him right across the face. But he didn't say anything. Instead, he looked at me with mixed emotions and stared for a really long time. I was getting really tired of being stared at so as soon as I counted to five, I started to back away from the door – slowly.

"Brit, wait," he told me, grabbing my wrist to make sure that I'd stay in place. "You can't just land that type of bomb on me and expect me to react right away."

I stayed silent as I watched him process it all. By now, he should've learned that I was never really a patient person. I didn't like to wait. When I wanted something, I wanted it as soon as I could have it. He was making me wait and I don't know what changed but for some reason, I was okay with that.

I was about to say something to start the conversation but he placed a finger to my lips to keep my mouth closed. At this point, I was downright confused. I wasn't sure how he was gonna take this but I also didn't want to know. I was afraid that his reaction might not be the one that I want to see.

"I know this might sound crazy and far-fetched but I'm ready to face the challenges and take this responsibility to heart. This is my baby and I want his or her life to be a happy one. I can't leave my baby in a broken family. Brittany, I love you and as soon as you're ready and sure, I want to marry you. So can I please take this opportunity to ask your hand in marriage?" His hand slid down from my wrist to my fingers as he got down to his knees.

For a minute, I thought that this was all a dream but I pinched myself and realized that it wasn't. I looked into his glimmering brown eyes and smiled wholeheartedly. This was nothing compared to what I'd expected. It exceeded my expectations.

I thought that maybe we were going too fast. I didn't want to tell him that I needed to think about it because no matter what I thought, there would only be one answer and that's a big fat YES.

So without further ado, I said the next two words with a big smile hoping that I'd made the right decision.

"**I do." **


End file.
